Only Time Can Tell
by Iggy - Essence of Angst
Summary: Sango is given a chance to go back in time and fix everything that went wrong because of Naraku. Even if she does succeed in doing that, there is one thing that can never be reclaimed. Nothing comes without a cost. [complete]
1. Chapter 1

**Only Time Can Tell**

**Disclaimer: **Honestly. Do you really think I would be writing this if I owned Inuyasha? Well, I don't.

_QuickEdit is my enemy. I swear. It labels this as Chapter 1, but it's really only the Prologue. Does anyone know of a way to change the **individual **chapter titles for one story? I have had so much trouble messing around, exporting and re-exporting my chapters because the the Content/Chapters editing process doesn't want to let me change them even when I re-upload it in new format._

_This idea popped into my mind about half a year ago, except that I had no idea how to make it happen. Again, it came back into my head, but with a plotline. This will be my first time writing a properly chaptered piece that didn't have rough drafts. _

_I tried.

* * *

_

**Chapter 1: Prologue**

_She is running. _

_The trees around her are tall. The leaves on the branches seem to cover the sky. On both sides there are shadows, whispering and echoing, suffocating her mind. _

_She runs faster. She wants to outrun the shadows, for they are the voices in her mind. The whispered accusations of her failure. The angry spirits of those that were murdered. _

_She wants to shout, to scream that she knows. She reminds herself constantly that she failed to do what was right, and now, because of her, more will suffer. _

_Something dark flickers behind her. It doesn't move to keep up, yet it stays within range of her hearing._

_The rustle of bushes._

_She doesn't bother to pull out her katana. She knows there is no use in fighting it, and acknowledging that fact makes her tremble with anger. She is all too aware that her anguished hatred could consume her. In fact, in this twisted world, it already has. She cannot prevent something that has already happened._

_Nevertheless, a new emotion, such as helplessness, something she could not, _cannot_ stand, has risen in her._

_She hates herself for it._

_A black mist surrounds her. It is thick enough so that she cannot see more than a few feet in front of her, yet she feels something ahead. Something akin to terror chills her heart. It is dark and cruel and full of hatred, like her. It has something she wants, and she will continue to chase it down, no matter how high the cost may be._

_Even if it is her own life. She will gladly spill her own blood to save his._

_A dim light starts to appear a short distance away. It is a white light, but it chills her, because she knows it is closer to her than it was before. It is not friendly. It is dark and cruel and full of hatred…_

_Full of hatred… like her. _

_Fear is starting to mix with the anger she feels, and it confuses her. But she keeps running, because she knows she _has_ to. _

_Finally she bursts into the clearing. She has spent hours, even days chasing this despicable _thing_, but she is not tired. Not in the least. Her hatred does not allow for anything else; it clouds her heart and mind._

_A man with dark hair stands in front of her, his red eyes narrowed and a humourless smile on his lips. He holds a young boy up by the neck, and his hand is poised over the place on the boy's back where a darkened piece of glass has been embedded. A trail of blood slowly seeps down the grey material of his shirt, staining it. Yet the boy shows no reaction to his situation. His expression remains blank with a hint of melancholy._

_She growls at him, unsheathing her katana and popping out the hidden daggers from the sleeves on her taijiya outfit. She opens her mouth to say something, but before a sound is uttered, the man roughly shakes the boy, and she falters._

"_Do you want him to die?"_

_The question is so simple, yet there could be no greater challenge than that which has been put, not into the question itself, but the tone of voice the man is using. It is indeed a challenge. _

_A challenge of death._

_Her options are limited. She knows that if she is to make one wrong move during this sickening 'game', his hand will remove the shard of glass and the boy will die again. The man knows she cannot bear to watch this, so he smirks in triumph at her helplessness._

_The rage takes over her mind. _

"_Damn you to hell for this," she hisses. _

_She charges at him, even though she knows that he can read her intentions. It is an intent to kill. _

_And she has made the wrong move._

_The man, better known as a half-demon called Naraku, drops the boy - but not before taking out the shard. Blood comes out of unseen wounds all over the boy's body, and his sister watches in anguished torment. Her katana falls to the ground, the clattering echoing in the silent clearing._

_Naraku smirks again as he retreats. The anger that filled the taijiya so recently has faded, instead replaced by tears of utter defeat. She runs over to him and pulls him onto his back and into her arms. She cradles him, tenderly placing kisses all over his face and repeating that she still loves him. He stares at her, his expression filling with guilt, and then his body stills and his eyes close. He has not spoken a word._

_She gently lies him back on the ground and stands up. Then she picks up her katana, the blade shimmering in the dim light as she looks at her hateful reflection for the last time. A mixture of guilt and rage is all she sees. She has become what she once despised. _

_Not a minute later her blood splatters the ground._

_The legacy of the tajiya has been broken._


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing… except for this idea.

_Yes, I know. Short chapter. Get used to it - I'm not doing long chapters for this story. _

**Ninalee-chan: **Wow. Have you actually been -reading- my bio? And yes, I do lack inspiration. TMTR's sequel may be giving me a hard time (make that a "difficult" time), but normally I would still want to work through the challenge. However, I find myself -not- wanting to write it so I can get to the emotional parts… which is just pathetic. I'm not even halfway through Chapter 6. I'm so lazy. Actually, the opening really doesn't have much to do with the plot. By the time you finish reading this chapter, you'll understand the prologue.

**Hotpink89: **I will update… when I update:sweat drops: Don't worry, I try not to take months because I know how annoying that can be.

**YoukaiTajiyaSango: **You're not supposed to understand it until the end of Chapter 1. I tried to make it an attention-getter.

**TeamRocket Sapphire: **I don't think this idea has been attempted before. If it has… well, I haven't found it.

**Blusorami: **I like to confuse my readers. XD

* * *

Sango woke up, breathing heavily. Sweat plastered to her brow and she sat up, shaking her mind to clear it of the vivid images.

The nightmare she had just had was one of many she dreamt over and over again. And it never failed to remind her of what had happened with her family. Kirara was cuddled up just inches from her side, Shippou nestled in her warm fur.

Inuyasha slept above the tree branch. It was more like a light doze since the hanyou rarely managed to get sleep anyway. His hearing was sensitive enough that he could sense the movement of a demon within range of the campsite in all directions. Kagome was on the other side of the deadened fire, her dreams peaceful and without the imaginable horrors that one came to perceive as everyday life in the feudal era. Miroku was sitting at the edge of the campsite, his staff resting against a nearby tree as he kept constant watch on the surrounding area. His robes looked almost pitch black in the dim light of the area.

* * *

The taijiya approached him. Normally she would not come within a few feet because of his lecherous tactics that he so often liked to irritate her with, but she decided that, for once, she would let her guard down. She sat down beside him, her shoulder barely brushing his, but before she so much as glanced at him to see his reaction to this unexpected action of vulnerability, he spoke.

"You should be getting some rest."

"So should you," she countered back, looking at the ground. They both knew why the other was avoiding a topic that would sooner or later be discussed, yet they were not persistent about discussing it.

"This is my duty," he replied. After a tense moment of silence, he looked over at her. "You couldn't sleep, could you?" he asked softly, understanding her silence. Instead of saying anything, she just shook her head. He nodded. "I don't usually sleep that well either…" He let the words hang in the air and when Sango glanced down, she noticed how his right hand unconsciously clenched itself.

It was a few moments before Sango spoke again. "I had a nightmare." He looked at her but did not ask her what it was about; he already knew. It troubled her frequently during the day, always reminding her why she had joined the group on the journey to defeat Naraku. "It was about Kohaku, but not… not when he -" She looked away to compose herself, swallowing, and as he placed his hand on her own, she continued, but in a much quieter tone of voice. " - not when Naraku forced him to do those things. It - it was different."

I was running through a forest. I don't know how I knew, but there was something ahead I had to reach. Something I needed to claim. But there was also something behind me, something dark and cruel. I don't know what it was, but I could feel it, and I didn't want to turn around to face it because I knew it would kill me."

"It was like I was consumed by hatred," she said aloud, now sounding more apprehensive than saddened. "In the dream, I was allowing my anger to take control, to keep me going, and although I realized I was being consumed by my own need for vengeance, although I knew the hatred would win, I wanted it to."

By this point Miroku had shifted over so that he was almost behind her, one hand on her shoulder as a means of comfort and the other holding her hand as she talked. Sango was being open and trusting about her pain, and the monk didn't want to waste this opportunity to ease her suffering.

"I kept running. I knew I was coming closer to my goal. Finally I reached it, in a clearing. Naraku was there and… he was holding Kohaku up by the neck, his hand positioned where the shard was. I knew he was using Kohaku as a threat if I tried to do anything, and I hated him for it."

Finally Miroku spoke, his voice low. "Sango, it is understandable that you feel such anger towards Naraku. He destroyed your family and your entire village."

She shook her head slightly. "No, not this type of anger. It… I've never felt this way, so consumed, so blinded by rage. Even when I found out that Naraku had plotted the whole thing, it didn't fill my heart completely. I wanted revenge, but that was because I felt like I had done nothing to prevent any of it from happening. In the dream, I could only feel anger and hatred, and although it should have scared me that I was becoming something that I never wanted to be, it didn't.

"Naraku asked me something, although it sounded more like an accusatory statement than a question."

Miroku looked at her, gently squeezing her hand. "Sango, if it bothers you to -"

She turned around to glance at him, her gaze a mixture of sadness and confusion. "No. I don't want to avoid this, Houshi-sama." After a moment of silence in which he simply stared back at her, she turned so that he could only see the side of her expression. "He asked me if I wanted Kohaku to die." She closed her eyes. "I knew he was taunting me with Kohaku's life, but I couldn't help it. I couldn't watch him do this anymore to my brother, so I attacked him. He took - he took the shard out of - out of my brother, then retreated." Her voice cracked on the last sentence, and he saw a tear run down her cheek. Although it hadn't really happened yet, she still dreaded the inevitable and didn't like to think about what she would do when it did happen. Every time she dreamt about it, it felt like her heart was being ripped apart, even if it wasn't real.

"What did you do after?" he asked her as she wiped the tear away.

If he hadn't practically been leaning against her, he doubted he would have heard her reply.

"I… I committed suicide."

He flinched. Visibly flinched. "You what?" he asked, almost in disbelief.

"I guess I didn't want to face the possibility of moving on," she explained, her tone still very quiet. Her gaze focused on the ground in front of her. "I've always hoped that there would be another way to do this, without having to end Kohaku's life."

He was still too stunned after hearing her say something so unbelievable that he was having trouble focusing on what she was saying now. "Sango -"

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

His reply was more automatic than of actual compassion in regards to what she felt, or what he had just heard. "It's okay."

"No, it's not." She stood up with her back to him. "Maybe I shouldn't have told you that."

"No, it's alright." He corrected himself and stood up just as she turned around, her gaze still on the ground. "Although suicide remains an option, nonetheless a last resort, are you still so desperate to go through with it?"

For a moment, she didn't speak. "I don't know." When he didn't question her reply, she continued, doubt clearly heard in her soft voice. "But perhaps, if we keep going, things will turn out okay."

"Sango."

She looked up at him.

"If there is any way to ease the pain… I will always help you in any way that I can," he told her.

She didn't say anything, but the corners of her mouth curved upwards in the slightest indication of a faint smile. She walked around him, intending to head back, but stopped for a moment and spoke, her voice quiet.

"If there was one thing I wish I could do… it would be to go back in time so I could fix everything." She sighed. "I wish I had the chance to go back and prevent all of it from happening, but I know that's not possible."

There was a moment of silence after she spoke those words. Miroku looked at her, his expression compassionate, almost wistful, then he followed her back to camp. It took them a considerable amount of time to fall asleep, their dreams frequently plagued by the fears they so often thought about during the day.

* * *

Not too far away, out of sight and hearing range, among the higher branches of the trees, stood a tall shadowy figure. It watched the taijiya and monk settle down, its voice smooth and mysterious.

"Ah, but it is."

And with that said, the figure disappeared in a glow of yellow light.

* * *

_Well, by now you might know the basic idea for the plot. It's really not that complicated, and it's not meant to be! The main reason for doing this was to see if it would work out, and the other reason was because I don't believe this idea has ever been attempted before. So… reviews would be appreciated, especially for this! I'm in need of criticism for this particular idea, or warnings, especially if the characters seem to be OOC. _

_Finished typing - June 24th, 2005_

_Posted - June 30th, 2005_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I still own nothing… except for this idea.

_I'm surprised that no one else has thought of this idea first - at least, no one that I know of. Since I don't feel like exporting and removing the text again, review responses to Chapters 1 and 2 will be listed here. Sorry about the confusion. I finally fixed Chapter 2. _

**Blusorami: **A lot of the things you're curious about will be answered by the final chapter.

**Tashachan28: **This is an ongoing story. Although I'm still uncertain as to how many chapters there will be.

**Bonzo the Fifth: **I found it strange myself that no one has attempted to write about Sango getting a chance to go back in time. I wouldn't say the Bone Eater's Well has _that_ much significance to the storyline, as Kagome doesn't need to go back and forth every day, but it is the main reason for the whole adventure in the first place.

**Ninalee-chan: **Inspiration for TMTR? I'm done, I'm just not posting yet. :looks around nervously: Maybe I shouldn't have said that… Yeah, sometimes I do that as well. I start reading something, and if it gets boring I read a different novel until I feel like going back to the original story. Well, the whole emotional thing has to come first… and who says Sango _will_ be able to correct her past 'mistakes', as she would call them? Eh:grin:

**YoukaiTajiyaSango: **I'm glad you're intrigued.

_I still think the **Content/Chapters** feature is stupid. You can't rename your chapters. :throws random objects at the monitor:

* * *

_

The morning came quickly. Sango sat up, still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and bracing herself for Inuyasha's usual complaints about how they needed to get moving so they wouldn't waste any more time resting while there were jewel shards that still needed to be found.

But it never came.

She glanced around, and her widened in surprise as she took in her surroundings.

"It can't be…" she whispered, barely aware of speaking. Slowly she stood up, momentarily forgetting what had just happened.

A tall wooden gate wasn't too far off from where she had woken up. A wooden fence was around the outskirts of what she believed to be as her village. Slowly she approached the gate, stretching her hand as if afraid to touch it, for fear that she might actually be dreaming. But just as her fingers came in contact with the closed entrance, she backed away and whirled around, her voice sounding anxious with a slight hint of uneasiness.

"Houshi-sama?" she called out, her eyes searching everywhere for evidence that they had been here, although she didn't remember how on earth she had travelled to her village so quickly. "Kagome-chan? Inuyasha? Shippou?"

No reply came.

The anxiety in her voice died as a realization struck her.

They _hadn't_ been travelling in the direction of her village. In fact, they had been heading in the opposite direction because Kagome had sensed a jewel shard coming from a remote village, a few hours awayif travelling on foot. The last thing she remembered was having that night-time talk with monk, when she had expressed some of her most vulnerable fears.

_I went back to camp… and fell asleep_, she thought. Her gaze swept over Hiraikotsu, which was lying a few inches away from her spot in the grass. _I don't remember travelling back here… maybe I am dreaming. It wouldn't be the first time I've dreamt about coming back to my village and seeing everyone alive. _Then something else struck her as she looked down.

_I'm wearing… my battle outfit? Where's - where's my casual outfit!_

Indeed she was wearing the battle outfit that allowed her to be extremely flexible whenever she was in battle instead of the usual pink and green kimono. A frown took over her expression as she struggled to figure out what had happened.

_This doesn't feel like one of my nightmares though. No one else is here… no one from the group, anyway. We weren't travelling in this direction, so how did I end up here? And why am I by myself? _

"Houshi-sama?" she tried once more, and again only silence greeted her nervous-sounding voice. There was no sign of anyone.

_Well, while I'm here, I may as well go in and pay respects. But I wonder where the rest of the group could be. _

She turned back around and knocked on the wood, hoping someone would hear her and open the gateway. A few seconds later, the noise of the wood creaking open caught her attention as the entrance opened to let her in. Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw.

* * *

After Naraku had destroyed her village that fateful day, one of the few things left standing had been the wooden fence itself. Aside from the weaponry hut, along with a few other broken huts, everything else had been completely destroyed. Dead villagers, animals and carts had littered the floor and dried blood had darkened the soil, making the stench of death even worse than it already was. The few buildings that had existed in their village had been shattered and splintered by a massive horde of unsuspected demons, and when they hadn't been destroyed to the point where the walls could barely support the roofs, explosive fires had done the rest of the unrelenting damage.

Now, however, the buildings were upright, the walls as sturdy as if nothing had ever happened to them. The huts were undamaged, and the sounds of happy children and adults ran about, getting on with the day's business.

"Welcome back, Sango-chan!" a villager said cheerily to her, but Sango was too shocked to reply.

"What -" she began, then a younger, adolescent voice spoke up. A familiar voice.

"Welcome back, Ane-ue!"

_It - it can't be!_

The older taijiya struggled to make speech. "K - Kohaku?"

The boy stopped a few inches away from her. He was wearing his casual grey outfit withthe scythe attached to the back, his hair tied back into the small ponytail, and the joy at seeing his sister after one of her 'missions' that usually filled his adolescent expression flickered, concern in his eyes as he watched her. "Ane-ue? Are you alright?"

The villagers around them had momentarily stopped their work to observe the siblings.

"Ane-ue," he repeated, coming closer to her. She still hadn't taken her gaze off of him and it was starting to make him uneasy. Something like sorrow, desperation and disbelief had mixed in her eyes, yet she made to move to reach out to him. "What's wrong?"

Finally, as if realizing where she was, she shook her head and attempted once more to make her mouth form a coherent sentence. "Kohaku… you're… you're alive?" she said, her voice still sounded shocked. "You're not… you're not under…" She momentarily raised her hand out as if to reach him, but then dropped it. Her sentence trailed off as she stared at him, almost unable to believe what she was seeing.

_What's going on? _

"What do you mean?" he asked, starting to look embarrassed. "Of course I'm alive. What are you talking about? I'm not -"

The rest of his sentence was abruptly cut off when she literally flung herself at him and wrapped her arms around his neck, causing a flush to appear on his face. But the look of embarrassment faded as he realized something:

She was crying.

Her head was buried in his shoulder and the tears dripped onto the material of the outfit he wore, making it slightly damp.

"Ane-ue! What are you - what's wrong?" he quickly asked, trying to pull away. It was no use. She was holding onto him so tightly that he could barely move to even hug her back. But this wasn't just a friendly, affectionate hug between siblings; there was something wrong with her. Her hold on him felt desperate. As if something terrible had happened.

Finally, after several minutes had passed, she pulled back to look at him, her face shining with a sort of happiness that was impossible to describe. Tearstains covered her cheeks, but she was smiling. "Kohaku, you're alive! And you're safe!"

_Of course he's safe, he's in our village with everyone else. It looks like no harm has been done to him. But what happened? Why does everything look so… _

… _alive?

* * *

_

She stood back up, only vaguely aware of her brother's questions about her 'odd' behaviour. The smile never left her face as she looked around, taking in all of the people scurrying about and the huts untouched by a particular horde of demons. In fact, if it wasn't for the fact that she clearly remembered what had happened to her village about a year ago, she would have thought the annihilation of her village had never happened.

But there was no way this could be real. There was no way _any_ of this could possibly be real. Huts didn't rebuild themselves, people didn't just get resurrected unless a serious ritual of some sort had been properly done. Every single person she saw had either died at the extermination task that night, which had really just been a distraction to destroy the village and get the remaining shards of the jewel, or had been killed by the demons back at her village.

"Ane-ue, what happened?" Kohaku kept asking her, trying to regain her attention. "Ane-ue! Did something terrible happen?"

She briefly looked back at him, still in some kind of daze, absently wiping the tears from her cheeks. "No… I'm - I'm fine," she answered, trying to compose herself.

_Yes, something terrible had happened. You and all the others had been killed. _

As that thought crossed her mind, the strangest possibility entered it. She didn't know where it came from or how she knew, but as soon as she thought about the possibility, she knew she was right.

_I've been sent back in time. There's no other explanation. _

_It must have been what I said last night. I wanted to go back in time to fix things. I wanted another chance to save my brother and father. But **who** would have enough such power to be able to do that, and why would they give **me** a chance to do this? No demon holds enough power to do something like this._

The smile faded from her face as she noted the building in which her father would soon be telling her about the power of the jewel. She was barely aware of Kohaku's questions and concerns about her sudden emotional behaviour as she started walking to the building, but she didn't have time to explain. Not that she thought she would be able to. If she was right, then Kohaku and the others wouldn't be able to remember anything about their inevitablefate. If she was right, the diversion would be tonight.

She only had a few hours. The expression on her face hardened in determination.

_I will not allow it to happen again. _

_Whatever happens… I have to make sure that we get back in time to save the village. _

_It's all up to me.

* * *

_

_Finished typing - July 3rd, 2005 _

_Posted - July 5th, 2005_

_Wow. This is actually going somewhere! It's turning out a bit more differently than I had planned, but I think I'm keeping the plot smooth. Well, what little 'plot' there is, anyway. I honestly don't know how many chapters there will be, but by this point, I believe I will have at least 5. Maybe a few more than that. :shrugs: If there are any grammatical errors that I have not yet caught, please let me know._

_Iggy would really appreciate it if you reviewed. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **Still don't own anything except for this idea.

_I admit it: I had a little trouble with this chapter. As much as I love writing conversations, I had trouble figuring how the dialogue should be, especially since it was a parent._

_I apologise to Kasai to Kasumi_ _if the events in the coming chapters seem like the ones you have written in "Dying Gratitude" at all. I am not aware of any ideas that you have planned for your story, as I am not certain as to what your purpose for "Dying Gratitude" is in Chapter 11, so hopefully mine will be a bit different._

**YoukaiTajiyaSango: **I am using the events of episode 24 to help me through this, but with a bit of a twist.

**Tashachan28: **As I recently found out, I'm not the only one who has this idea all planned out. Kasai to Kasumi also has something similar to this, but both of us have different writing styles and we're not writing this together… so who knows?

**Ninalee-chan: **Oh, I know she would. She would gladly give her own life to save something so tragic from happening again if given the chance. However, I believe that realism needs to be accounted for in this case. Not everything is going to be an easy task. In fact, I doubt things will go the way she planned at all. (Thanks for your beta-ing!)

**Stripe: **I haven't stumbled across any (unless you count Kasai to Kasumi informing me of hers), but I didn't read the chapter in reference. Emotion is one of the things I seem to be able to capture across the page successfully.

* * *

She entered the building and although it should not have been such a shock for her, seeing as she had just realized what was going on, she still froze. Her father was standing there, looking at what appeared to be some shards of the jewel after it had been shattered.

"Ah, Sango," he greeted her. "I trust the mission went well?" The calm expression was quickly replaced with concern when he turned to look at her.

It took all the willpower she had not to burst into tears and throw herself into her father's arms, just to make sure he really was there and that this wasn't all a dream of some sort. She knew she must have gone back in time, as it was the only reasonable explanation, but it was still hard to believe he was standing there, unharmed. Especially after she saw the blade cut through his throat that day. Although when she spoke, her trembling voice betrayed her emotions. "What - what mission?"

Confusion swept across his aged features. "What mission?" he repeated. She still hadn't moved from the doorway, staring at him. "Sango, didn't you just get back from one of your missions?"

"I - uh - yeah." She struggled to regain her usual composure, but she could tell his concern for her hadn't quite left yet.

_This confirms what I thought earlier. I **have** been sent back in time to fix things. I was supposed to bring back some dinner after slaying that demon… which means I really only do have a few hours to convince Father not to let Kohaku come with us. But how can I do that? Father used to take such pride in what Kohaku could do. This had been his first time at a real exterminating job, and Father was so anxious to have Kohaku show what he had accomplished during all of our training sessions._

"Did you bring anything back?" His voice broke into her thoughts as he strode over to her. His questioning gaze met her stunned one.

"No, I -"

"Why not? Didn't you volunteer to bring back dinner for tonight?"

_I don't have time to discuss the mission I was on. I need to convince you not to let Kohaku come. _

"Father, I need to talk to you about something important," she said, her voice sounding urgent.

"By the sound of it, it must be important," he said, looking unconcerned. Sango's level of anxiety obviously had not reached him.

"Don't let Kohaku -"

At that precise moment, the boy entered. "Father, I went to tell Ane-ue that you wanted to speak with her." He looked from Sango to their father and back again.

"Thank you, Kohaku," he said, although his gaze hadn't moved from Sango's. "Now what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

She glanced behind at her brother, who suddenly seemed to sense that there was more going on between Sango and her father.

_They won't understand, but I have to try.

* * *

_

"Don't let Kohaku come with us." She tried to make her voice sound firm, but it came out as desperate and barely louder than a whisper.

"What?" Her father blinked and stepped closer to her.

"Ane-ue, you do know that I'm standing right behind you?" Kohaku spoke up. She tried her best to pretend he wasn't there for the time being, otherwise she knew she would not have the strength to do this.

"Don't let Kohaku come with us," she said, this time her voice sounding more like a plea of some sort.

Her father frowned and placed his hands on her shoulders, peering into her eyes. "Sango, is there something wrong?"

"No. Just don't let him come with us," she repeated. Kohaku's eyes widened in surprise and slight hurt.

"Ane-ue…"

"Sango, what are you talking about?"

"The mission for tonight. The demon that the lord wants us to destroy."

Slight shock could be seen in his expression. "Sango, did someone tell you about this before -"

"Yes, someone told me," she said, her words sounding rushed.

"When?" Kohaku spoke up again, stepping over to his sister in the attempt to get her attention for a brief moment. "Ane-ue, you just came through the gate a few minutes ago."

Inwardly Sango counted to ten, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves. Things weren't going as well as she thought they would be, but she was never one to back down from a challenge. Especially when it involved her family.

"I know, but you have to just trust me on this. How I know doesn't matter right now. Just listen to me," she pleaded. But before she could say anything more, her father decided to 'lecture' her about Kohaku.

"Sango, I have been waiting for this chance for a long time. You know that," he told her, sounding slightly exasperated.

"I know, but -" she tried to say, but was cut off.

_I knew he wouldn't understand. But how can I expect otherwise? He doesn't know what I know. Kohaku doesn't know who Naraku is, because in this time, he has never been controlled. He has never been killed. _

"You know Kohaku's skills have developed consistently," he continued, interpreting the anxiety in her eyes as the usual worry and concern for her brother's well being. He was unable to predict Sango's look was deemed from the knowledge of what would undoubtedly occur if Kohaku were to come along for the mission. "This will be his first opportunity to show his abilities as a true warrior; I want him to have this chance," her father persisted.

Sango lowered her gaze to the floor, holding back tears of frustration and anxiety. For a moment, there was only silence. Then she felt someone tugging on the sleeve of her kimono and turned to meet her brother's gaze.

"It's okay. I'll stay here," he said, making a huge wave of relief course through Sango's heart.

"What? But you are at the age when you should start using your training in real battles," their father insisted. "I thought you would have wanted this opportunity. I have been telling everyone else how much you have been improving, and this is your first chance to show what expertise you have gained. I want you to do this."

The relief that had been building up in her heart decreased rapidly. She needed to turn the conversation around, to persuade her father _not to let him come_, and she knew her words would hurt her brother, but she had to say something. In the circumstances, she felt that although her words would indeed be hurtful, but in the end, she was doing this to save his life.

* * *

"I don't think Kohaku should go," she said, trying her best to sound firm and decisive, something that was not entirely convincing considering she had just spent the past ten minutes practically pleading with her father.

"What?"

"I don't think his skills are good enough. He isn't accurate with his scythe -" _Well, at least my words aren't completely untrue _" - and we still have lots of time for his training. After all," she added, failing to ignore the hurt expression flicker across her brother's face, "demons don't usually come within range of the village. As long as Kohaku doesn't leave the village, he should be fine."

"Ane-ue," Kohaku protested. "I've been training hard. I think I would be capable of helping the others out when we come across a demon."

Again, panic rose inside of Sango, threatening to escape in the form of tears that she held back. This was not the time and place to be crying, especially in front of the people who hadn't yet been affected by fate, but what could she say now? Then her father spoke.

"Your sister is right, Kohaku. You are not always accurate in your aiming, and that could cost you your life someday," he told the boy. "But -" He turned to Sango, and she stared back at him, blinking back her tears. " - you will be with the rest of the group, so you should be safe. As long as the others stay around you, I see no reason for you not to come along."

* * *

_Finished typing - July 10th, 2005_

_Re-posted after corrections - July 14th, 2005_

_I wasn't originally going to end it there, but I realized that if I were to type out the next scene, this chapter would be twice as long. If all goes well according to guidelines, this story should be finished by Chapter 8. Things are not as easy to fix as Sango thought. I had some trouble deciding on what type of fatherly-figure her dad would be, as the only line he has in episode 24 regarding Kohaku's abilities before they are called to slay is, "You are already eleven, plenty old enough to start exterminating." Oh, and if Kohaku's lines seem contrary to each other, please don't correct me about that. I am aware of it, and explanation for it will come in the next chapter. _

_Once again, comments/criticisms of any kind are appreciated. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, but this idea is still mine.

_Well, this story wasn't as easy as I thought it would be, but it's still quite fun to write. I was hoping to keep the chapter lengths consistent, but considering the events that need to take place, there is no guarantee they will remain that way. Kohaku's character is so much fun to write._

**Stripe: **Don't worry. I have planned the events very carefully. You do have a good point, but I thought about that way back around Chapter 2. I'm planning a few chapters ahead so I can avoid any plot holes.

**Moonyme: **I don't always review right away either… :looks around nervously:

**Blusorami: **I still have a few things planned.

**Ninalee-chan: **Any widowed parent would feel that they have to "toughen up" in order to raise their kids properly. It seems to convince them that their 'strictness' would be a good substitute for lack of the other parent. XD I hope that made sense! And as for Kohaku… his character, as you correctly analysed in the last chapter, will be explained more accurately in this chapter. (Thanks for your beta-ing, Ninalee. You actually make me sound educated in the world of writing!)

* * *

She didn't remember coming back to the building her family shared.

All she felt was the frustration building up inside of her as she stood in front of the porch. And she knew she needed to calm down. Her anxiety would not help matters.

Maybe if she hadn't been so damned enthusiastic about her brother's first mission, her father would not be so persistent about this.

_I couldn't do it. Kohaku is coming with us. The lord will take control of him and use him to kill the others. Then I'll be killed. Wait - if I die now, will things return to the way they used to be? Will I wake up and discover it really was just a dream? I can't tell if any of this is real or not. Everything is exactly the way it used to be, and if I didn't remember what happened with Naraku… _

Her fists clenched, the old feelings of pain and rage returning. Damn him.

_I wouldn't be doing this. I wouldn't **know**. _

_Maybe this wouldn't hurt so much, then. I have this chance to save everyone. I should be happy. So why I am hurting? _

She stopped walking. The tears were still silently trailing down her cheeks. Her voice came out as a soft whisper, audible to no one but herself. "Because I know what's going to happen, and I can't prevent it.

"I know that while they head out for their 'task', Naraku's demons will show up and destroy the place. I can't explain that to Father and Kohaku, because it hasn't happened yet."

She looked down at the ground, her bangs obscuring her eyes. The tears splattered on the ground, making darker spots appear among the dust. Just as she was debating on making the others let her go and do the mission on her own, just so she could ensure that they would not be harmed, a voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Ane-ue?"

"Kohaku." She wiped her eyes, quickly regaining composure over her conflicting emotions, and turned to face him, managing a faint smile. He looked serious.

"Ane-ue, I need to talk to you," he said, taking her hand and leading her onto the steps. He sat down, his hands on his knees and she sat down beside him, observing his quiet figure. A warm breeze drifted past, ruffling his hair. He reached behind himself to take the scythe that was attached, and started to examine it.

"I really don't want to go on this mission," he admitted, running his fingers up and down the handle. Before his sister could say anything, he continued. "I noticed that you seemed to be bothered when Father insisted that I should go, so I figured it would be better if I just stayed here. You were right, Ane-ue, when you said that there was still time for training before I become a true taijiya, and I… I don't like fighting that much. It's okay, it's just… it bothers me a bit. I've never been as good as you, and I doubt I will ever be."

Sango could only stare at him. She hadn't realized it nagged at him this much, but why hadn't he told their father any of this? _He_ was the only who didn't seem to realize Kohaku's feelings regarding the subject. Almost cautiously, she placed a hand on her brother's shoulder, feeling the material underneath her fingers.

"Kohaku…"

"I'm sorry, Ane-ue. I didn't mean to cause trouble between you and Father. I just didn't want to disappoint him."

"It's alright." Before he could say anything further, she had wrapped her arms around him and pulled him against her. "I'll tell Father -"

"No, don't!" A pink flush started to appear on his cheeks and his voice sounded slightly panicky. "I don't want him to -"

"Kohaku. Relax. He won't be angry, just disappointed." She tightened her grip on his shoulders as if to make sure that he wouldn't suddenly disappear from her and fall back into Naraku's clutches. Even in this time, if Naraku himself hadn't appeared yet, he was still out there somewhere, waiting for night to fall so he could come and wreak havoc in their lives and delight in their suffering while he claimed the jewel shards.

"Ane-ue…" he said softly, craning his neck to look up at her. She was staring ahead, a distant look that he recognized as a sort of longing in her eyes. She did seem happy to be holding him, that he could tell, but there was only a flicker of sadness hidden behind her smile. There was tension in her body. "What's the matter?"

She bit her lip. Even if she did tell him, he wouldn't believe her. She was just scared, so scared of losing him again.

* * *

_The sound of blood splattering caught her attention. Her eyes widened in horror as she saw a blade cut through the throat of her father._

_The blade completed its arc and returned to the hand of its owner. Fear and confusion ran through Sango's mind when she realized who it was._

"_Kohaku… why did you kill Father and the others?"

* * *

_

"I can't…" she whispered, letting go of him to bury her head in her hands.

_I can't let that happen again. I have to try again. I can't let everyone suffer like that again, not if I can find a way to stop it. _

"You can't what?" the boy asked, confused. He had never seen his sister look so distressed before. "Ane-ue, what are you talking about?"

"Kohaku." She took a deep breath, rubbed her eyes and turned to look at him, placing a hand on his shoulder again. "It's alright. Everything is going to be okay. I just need to talk it over with Father again."

"But what if -"

"It'll work out. I will make sure it does," she said, more to reassure herself than to reassure him, and stood up.

"Ane-ue."

She turned to look at him. For the first time, a real smile brightened her features. "It'll be okay. I promise."

She may have promised him that things would be okay, but she didn't realize the strength she would need to ensure that.

* * *

In the end of a long disagreement, their father finally relented and told Sango that her brother didn't have to come. Her anxiety had been starting to irritate him, even if he couldn't help but feel a little concerned about her sudden 'desperate' behaviour and requests.

"Then you'll have to take him out on a separate training mission and make him work twice as hard," had been his final words. Sango agreed, though not happily. One battle had been won today, but there would be one more challenge to work through before everything was okay.

Losing wasn't an option. If she lost, she not only lost her chance, but her family would die again. She knew she wouldn't be able to handle it.

_Failing is not a possibility, Sango_, she told herself as she sharpened her katana and changed into her battle outfit. Her gaze swept over Hiraikotsu, balanced against the wall, all clean and ready for use.

_I don't care what happens, as long as I can get through this.

* * *

_

Later that evening, shortly after dinner, Sango and her other comrades headed out. Just before leaving, she had given Kohaku a tight hug and whispered, "I love you." The worry and confusion filling his adolescent expression tore at her heart as she began to walk away.

_I know you don't understand. But as long as I can save you this time, it doesn't matter._

"Ane-ue?" he asked. She stopped walking, although she didn't turn around to look at him. "Be careful, okay?"

She didn't answer.

_Sometimes being careful just isn't enough. I learned that the hard way.

* * *

_

It didn't take long for them to reach the area in which they were to show off their 'extermination' skills. Her father knelt down in front of the lord, currently telling him about the fact that his village had the most skilled group of taijiyas in the area.

The lord's gaze swept over the demon exterminators and halted at Sango.

"Yet you brought a young woman to fight?" Although the man meant to sound a bit more polite, the taunt in his voice could not be mistaken. Sango felt a surge of hot anger rush through her body, and her fists clenched among the ground, although she did not break eye contact.

_You were the one to take control of my brother! Damn you to hell!_

"She is my daughter, and happens to be one of the best demon slayers in the province," her father was telling him. "You can witness her skill alongside the others shortly."

It didn't take long until the demon appeared. Sango stayed a bit far back from all the commotion, while her other comrades raced to exterminate the ugly creature. She glanced at the lord, who seemed to be smirking in her direction.

"Is there a problem, taijiya-san?" he said mildly. "Why aren't you with the others?"

_I don't want to turn my back on you. _

She responded rather coolly. "I'm waiting for them to restrain the demon."

Slowly she made her way over to the others, making sure that she could keep track of where he was or what he was doing. A shout caught her attention, and she glanced away from the lord for a moment.

"We've got it!"

She detached Hiraikotsu from her back and jumped into the air, hurling it along the demon's scaly skin so that the giant boomerang cut it in half. Her comrades could finish the rest of the job.

As she landed, she felt a prickling sensation on the back of her neck. Turning around, she saw something like a neon pink thread shooting at her.

_That's how he controlled Kohaku before! Using a spider's thread! I have to destroy him. _

She drew her katana from its sheathe and leaping out of its path, swiftly cut off the thread, just inches from her body. She whirled around to look at the leader, the one who had sent the thread in her direction.

_He's the one!_

Her own realization from the time before, the time she had failed, rang clearly through her mind.

_I have to kill him. Or least knock him unconscious… but how can I get past his archers in time?_

A plan clicked in her head and she sheathed her katana, instead grabbing Hiraikotsu, preparing to throw it. She started to run at him.

"The taijiya has gone mad. Kill her!" he ordered. Obeying their leader's command, the archers lined up in front of him, raising their bows.

She threw the boomerang, slowing down her pace and watched it fly at him. The lord's eyes went wide in fear as he realized what her intentions had been all along, but he did not have enough to move out of the way. Hiraikotsu sent him sprawling, and he fell unconscious. The boomerang completed its arc, making some rather big dents in the wooden floorboards before heading back to Sango.

Unfortunately, the archers took this attack as an offence towards themselves, and they still fired. Sango had caught Hiraikotsu by this point, so most of the arrows bounced back off the boomerang. However, one of the arrows had still pierced her lower leg, and the sudden fiery pain that shot up her leg made her drop her weapon as she fell back onto the ground, unable to stand. The boomerang clattered to the ground, a few inches out of reach.

Seeing that Sango had fallen, her fellow comrades attacked the archers, knocking them out as well, staying out of the path of the arrows as they came. Her father rushed over to support her, berating her at the same time for doing something so seemingly foolish.

"Sango! What did you think you were _doing_!" he demanded, helping her sit up. Blood trickled from the wound and part of her battle outfit was torn at the lower leg.

"I…" Sango struggled to catch her breath, her face pale with pain. "Father, I had to!"

"No, you didn't!" he shouted. "What were you doing? Attacking the leader like that, no wonder he thought you went crazy! What the hell were you trying to prove! You're lucky they didn't strike you down for that!"

"Father, you don't understand!" she tried again. "I had to! I -"

"Then explain it to me, because I would _like_ to understand!" he retorted, his expression a mixture of utmost fury. His gaze went to the bloody wound on her leg. "That was your fault, for doing something so _stupid_! I can't believe you attacked him! _What were you thinking_?"

"I… I can't," she said, breathing hard. "I'm sorry."

"Sango -"

She got up, her leg slightly shaky, biting her lip to suppress the pain. "Give me Hiraikotsu," she said through clenched teeth.

"Sango, you can't expect to carry that thing and walk at the same -"

She interrupted him, still breathing hard, her jaw quickly starting to become sore from clenching her teeth so tightly. Pain shot up her leg whenever she put the majority of the weight on it, and the blood was starting to remind her about the accurate little details from that horrible day - the smell of it was enough make nausea build back up in her throat.

"I can handle it," she said, motioning for him to give it to her. "Please, Father. I need to attach it back on."

"Are you sure you can walk, Sango?" he asked her, the first hint of concern becoming audible in his voice. "Hold on, before I re-attach Hiraikotsu, I'll take that arrow out."

The process of taking out the arrow caused a few tears of pain, and a muffled scream was heard coming from her throat; she had bitten her lip in an attempt not to scream. As a result, her lip now bled. After a few more minutes, her determination was resolved, and she got up, stumbling slightly, wiping the blood from her lip. Blood still trickled from the wound down her leg. However, she could still walk.

"I'm fine," she said, knowing that as soon as she got back to her village she would want nothing but rest for a few hours.

Wait - her village.

Her eyes widened in horror and realization and her heart started to pound in fear for what she'd done earlier.

"_I don't think Kohaku should go."_

In her haste to make sure that the lord would not attempt, once again, to control him, she'd left him at the village!

_That night, while we went out to exterminate a demon, Naraku's horde came in and annihilated the village!_

"Kohaku," she whispered unconsciously, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in her leg as she stood.

"What did you say?" her father asked, putting an arm around her waist to support her. Sango wasn't aware of his confusion. Angry tears stung at her eyes as she stumbled out of the battle area in the direction of their home. Her voice shook ever so slightly.

"Father, we need to head back," she said. "Kohaku is back at the village."

"Sango -"

"He's in trouble."

* * *

_Finished typing - July 14th, 2005_

_Posted - July 22nd, 2005_

_Sango wants to fix everything, but unfortunately, things don't always go as planned. Even though she was able to prevent her father and comrades from being killed, as a result of her not thinking ahead, she has not completely saved Kohaku yet._

_Comments/criticisms?_


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **This idea remains my own. The characters and original story do not, nor will they ever.

_I really have to plan my plots more carefully. I originally had a lot more things planned for this chapter, but I don't want the chapter lengths to be uneven. Plus, certain events need to be written together to keep the story going. I know it's been a while since I last updated, but I took my time writing this chapter, and to be honest, I think it was worth the wait. _

**Moonyme: **Thank you for the compliments! They made my day!

**YoukaiTaijiyaSango **and **Ryokochan: **Thank you.

**hEaRtS: **Why did you find it confusing? Thanks. I don't want the chapters becoming too lengthy, they're already 6 pages as it is.

**Bonzo the Fifth: **You know, I doubted you were going to review it, simply because you review Chapter 1 of one of my stories, then I don't hear from you until Chapter 5. Naraku is still out there. He may not be near her, but he could still very well take control of Kohaku and destroy her village. That's what I thought: Sango can save her brother, but at the cost of sacrificing her village again. She really has very few options for these circumstances! As for her meeting up with the Inu-tachi… you'll find out more about that later.

**Kitsune-MiMIK: **Sango would be beyond devastated if she realized that she caused her brother to die alone, even if it was unintentional. Naraku cannot take control of living people. Sango was able to prevent the lord (who was being controlled by Naraku) from possessing her brother for a second time, but that still doesn't make everything perfect again.

**Blusorami: **Things just don't turn out the way we sometimes think they will.

**Ninalee-chan: **I knew what the results would be if Sango were to leave him behind, but you have to remember: this is what Sango would do to protect him. Just because I have planned this out doesn't mean I didn't think about the possibilities that would occur from Sango's choices. I knew Kohaku would still be in danger, but in her haste, Sango fails to realize that. They did put up a fight. I think. Maybe I should go back and fix that. :weak laughter: Ah, the views of a parental figure aren't always clear in a teenager's eyes. Plus, I recall receiving help from you for the previous conversations between Sango and her father.

_Yes, yes I know Kohaku is in trouble. But like I told Ninalee-chan here, this is about Sango's decisions, not what the narrator has planned.

* * *

_

How could she have been so stupid as to leave her little brother there?

There was no doubt that he'd been training ever since he was a young child, but Kohaku just didn't seem to have fighting instincts like the others. He was excellent with the scythe when he focused hard, but he'd never enjoyed fighting as much as his older sister. In fact, if it was up to him, he probably wouldn't have spent half as much time as he did learning the different techniques if their father hadn't raised him to be a fighter.

But the problem was that Kohaku wasn't a fighter.

He could aim fairly well, and he could react pretty quickly to an unexpected tactic from an opponent. But he wasn't a fighter at heart.

Knowing that fact tore at Sango's heart as she ran back to her home village, her comrades following closely behind. She didn't have to get within close range of the entrance to know that the annihilation had already started. Only a few huts were on fire, and the horde had obviously just arrived minutes ago. But there was no time to take relief about that fact.

"Kohaku!" she called, urging her legs to go faster. She wasn't usually this slow running even after a fight. Then again, she hadn't usually just gotten an arrow imbedded in her lower leg, causing a jolt of pain every time she put too much weight on it. But that didn't matter. She needed to find Kohaku, and she needed to find him fast.

The others were quickly slaying the other demons, protecting the rest of the innocent villagers who had not been taught to even hold a sword in the proper way, let alone fight with one. Knowing they were handling the demons, that left her to seek out her brother in hope that he was alright.

Parts of a building that had been attacked by some demons fell down, partially blocking her path and starting a fire in the process after she entered. She felt more tears stinging at her eyes. If she'd just been a bit faster…

_Damn it! This isn't how it's supposed to be! _

Holding back a sob of panic in her throat, she scanned the area, somewhat aware of the bigger demons coming in her direction.

_Kohaku! _

Where would he have hidden? Suddenly her gaze connected with the weaponry hut. It hadn't been set on fire yet, and knowing Kohaku, he would want to be armed in case the demons decided to choose a more interesting target while destroying the other buildings and huts.

_Kohaku!_

She leaped over some of the wreckage from the fallen building and ran over to the weaponry hut. Her throat felt dry as she realized that he had locked it. "Kohaku! Let me in!" she called, banging her fist on the door.

After a moment, she could hear the lock inside being removed. The door opened, revealing a pale, nervous-looking boy. He did have his scythe with him, but it didn't look like he had thought of using it, as it was still on his back. "Ane-ue!"

Tremendous relief swept over her so quickly that for a second, she felt almost dizzy. She moved past him and quickly shut the door. "Kohaku." She threw her arms around him and held him tightly, tears in her eyes.

_I'm right here with you._

"Ane-ue," he said, tentatively hugging her back. He recognized the same desperate tone in her voice as the one she had used while pleading with their father earlier this afternoon, and his expression turned into a slightly more concerned one. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she answered, closing her eyes. After another minute, she pulled away, smiling faintly. "I'm just glad you're with me."

He frowned, but didn't get a chance to ask her about her 'behaviour'. "Ane-ue, those demons…they started to wreck the smaller huts in the village." She tensed and her gaze hardened.

"I know."

She took him by the arm and led him to the back of the weaponry hut. "Where is your gas mask?" She started to shift through the piles of armour and weapons.

"I… I don't have it," he stammered. "I - I think it's back in our building," he added nervously, watching as she searched through the shelves. She sighed and turned to face him.

"Kohaku, you should have it with you at all times during… during situations like these," she began to reprimand him. "Here, I'll give you -"

She reached over for one of the smaller masks, but before her fingers had even so much as touched it, a crash surrounded them and the walls behind to cave in, ripping and sending various war items flying everywhere. Before she could react fast enough, a snake-like demon coiled around her, raising her and crushing her body.

Kohaku unconsciously reached for his scythe, panic filling his eyes. "Ane-ue! _Ane-ue_!" he yelled, backing away.

"Kohaku!" she shouted, trying to squirm free, but her attempt was in vain as the demon tightened its grasp. "No, don't -"

Too late.

* * *

A spider-like demon was right behind him, and it sent him flying with one of its tentacles. The boy flew onto the ground, scraping various parts of his body on rocks and gravel. It didn't help that he had landed just beyond a flaming wall, smoke starting to obscure his vision and making it harder for him to breathe.

"_Kohaku_!" she screamed, twisting her wrist and cutting into the snake demon that held her. A hiss of pain escaped its mouth, but it didn't loosen its grip in the slightest, and Sango, despite her situation, cast a frantic glance around her village to see where the others were.

Some of the taijiya were still fighting, successfully exterminating quite a few of the demons. However, a lot more had yet to be destroyed, and already some of her comrades had been knocked unconscious from their own fights against multiple demons. The main building in which the shards were kept was still standing, and it was obvious from the destructed path that the demons were aiming for the shards.

Her gaze went back over to the area where her brother had landed. She couldn't see too clearly through the smoke, and her panic rose.

"_Kohaku_!" she screamed again, hoping he was going to be alright.

_Kohaku, you have to get up. Please… _

"Ane-ue!" He had stood up, struggling to squint through the thickening smoke. "I'm okay!"

"I'll help you!" she shouted, all too aware that she was in the least likely position to be helping anyone at the moment. Desperate to break free, she stretched her reflexive abilities as much as possible, moving her hand down to unsheathe her katana. "Just give me a minute," she muttered, yanking it out and impaling the demon's skin with it. This time, the demon let out a bigger hiss and loosened its grip slightly.

Meanwhile, the spider demon was advancing on the boy, waving its tentacles menacingly. Kohaku didn't back away; instead a nervous, yet determined look came into his eyes, and his grip tightened on the weapon, moving his arm back and preparing to throw it as soon as he could aim at a clear target.

"Kohaku!" she shouted again, a mixture of fear and anger building up in her. Finally, after repeated stabs and slashes across its skin, the demon dropped her. Unfortunately, the demon had raised her to a considerably high point in the air, and it was a good thing she landed on the grass; however, pain still shot through her damaged leg as she landed, and she fell onto the ground, needing to rest for a moment.

_Damn it.

* * *

_

One of the spider's tentacles lashed out at him, evidently aiming to impale him straight through his stomach. He threw the weapon at the tentacle, jumping out of the way as he did so. The blade sliced through it, and Kohaku leapt over the wall, weaving his way through the rest of the tentacles, hacking and slashing as he went. Slight sweat from his hand started to cover the handle of the scythe, but the determined expression never faded from his face.

_I need to get to Ane-ue. _

He'd seen her fall, fear rising inside his chest and threatening to erupt in a scream. He had just been able to make out the injury on her lower leg through the smoke, the material wet with blood from the wound. And of course, when she had finally broken free from the unrelenting grasp of the demon, she had fallen onto the ground. He couldn't see exactly where she was, but he knew she must have been in some sort of pain.

Because she didn't get back up like she usually did after a fight.

_Ane-ue… hold on!

* * *

_

He started to run, his frantic gaze searching the grounds all around him for any sign of her. "Ane-ue!" he called, coughing from the smoke. Unfortunately, he didn't get far. The spider demon had recovered enough by this point to shoot a tentacle towards him. On instinct alone, Kohaku whirled around and hurled his scythe at it, leaping out of the way just in case he missed. He hit his target directly, but wasn't prepared for the remaining tentacles to wrap around him, effectively trapping his arms at his sides.

Sango had gotten up, breathing hard and struggling to focus through the thick, almost blackish smoke. "K - Kohaku…" she whispered. Even though she had been in many youkai battles before, she had never felt so tired before. It didn't help that the injury kept sending pain up her leg. "Kohaku!" she called out again, her voice not sounding as strong as it normally did.

Finally she spotted him. Fury coursed through her body at the sight of the demon holding him captive, and she snatched Hiraikotsu off her back and ran at the demon, throwing it at such an angle that it ripped all the tentacles from one side of the demon and on its return slashed through the demon's body, tearing it in half and releasing the boy.

She caught the weapon, but too tired to stand any longer, she fell to her knees on the ground, using the boomerang for support as she leaned on it. "Kohaku…"

"Ane-ue!" he shouted, running over to her. "Ane-ue, your leg -"

"I'm fine," she said, her voice quiet. "Are there any other demons still around?"

Her brother looked around, analysing the area. "Yeah. There are still quite a few heading for where the shards are," he told her.

"Damn it," she hissed, standing up, forcing herself to ignore the pain. She didn't get too far, perhaps a few steps, before she knelt back down on the ground.

"Ane-ue, you need a rest. I'll go handle them," he said, but with none of the determination in his voice that a regular taijiya would have. In fact, he looked slightly nervous and a bit scared, but there was no other choice.

"No. Stay with me."

"You can't fight like that, Ane-ue."

She clenched her fist against the ground, and the hand that was holding onto Hiraikotsu tightened. "It's just a leg injury, Kohaku. I don't want -" She stopped and swallowed hard, staring resolutely at the ground, for a moment not wanting to gaze into the face that had haunted her nightmares for the past year. "I don't want you to be by yourself."

"Just a leg injury?" he repeated in disbelief. "I may not be an expert, but I've seen you come back home enough times to judge how serious injuries can be."

It took her a minute to compose herself, reminding herself that Kohaku didn't _know_ what had happened, even if it hadn't happened yet. She could still remember that, and it was just as painful to remember as it had been when the group had confronted him during their travels.

"Kohaku, please listen to me," she heard herself plead, and she felt his hand on her shoulder. A tear ran down her cheek. "I want you to stay behind me when I go to fight those demons. If I can't keep fighting, I want you to run and join up with the other taijiya. I don't care how injured I am, I want you to keep yourself as safe as possible until all this is over."

For a moment, there was only silence. Then he agreed, sounding extremely reluctant. "But how will you defeat them all?"

She finally looked up and tried to give him a genuine smile, although her heart wasn't quite in it. "You'd be surprised at what you can do when you're desperate."

"Ane-ue?" he questioned, looking confused. Her gaze switched from him as the youkai started to get within range of attacking the building. Slowly, rather painfully, she stood up, momentarily hoisting Hiraikotsu onto her back.

"It's okay. Don't worry about me," she said, standing up again, her resolution firmly in place. "Just stay behind me."

"Ane-ue -"

"Don't argue with me!"

She hadn't meant to snap at him, but her temper and fatigue were rising at the lack of success she'd had so far. Making her way over to the building she wearily, almost painfully, walked over to an area in front of the porch so that she could guard the building without wrecking it with her weapon if the Hiraikotsu somehow managed to alter its return courses. The demons seemed to find this rather inconveniencing, and she became their next target.

However, she was ready. With Kohaku behind her, she knew the demons would have to go through her to get to him and the building. And she wouldn't let that happen, not if she could help it.

She had been given the chance to go back in time.

So far she hadn't had much luck in setting things the way that they were supposed to be. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be this way.

Maybe there was a reason things had happened the way they had.

But was it worth so much destruction?

Was it worth so much loss and despair?

* * *

_Finished typing - July 21st, 2005_

_Posted - August 8th, 2005_

_Well, this happens to be the first time I enjoyed writing action. Writing Kohaku's character is so much fun! Believe it or not, I think this chapter is one of the better ones. What do you think?_


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: **Once again, I own nothing except for this small idea.

_Wow, this story is getting to be longer than I thought it would be. For those of you that are about to review this chapter, chapter responses will be in my profile. As soon as I get the reviews, I will post a reply, so keep on the lookout.

* * *

_

Kohaku was behind her. She knew that even if he was prepared to use his scythe and help attack the demons, he would not be able to fight for long. Kohaku had never been on a proper taijiya mission before, and he would not have the courage to do something like this.

She threw Hiraikotsu at the demons, exterminating more of them. They weren't within Kohaku's range yet, and Sango wanted to keep it that way. It actually wasn't all that hard for such an experienced slayer such as Sango, and it wouldn't have been much of a strain if she hadn't gotten that leg injury.

After she exterminated about half of the demons, sweat covered her forehead and her balance was considerably shaky. Blood still soaked the material around her leg, and although it wasn't a serious injury compared to the arrows that the archers had shot at her that day, the pain wasn't any less bearable. Each time she had to put some of her weight on it to catch the Hiraikotsu, the aching pain would remind her how tired she really was.

Kohaku watched her, his concern growing.

_Ane-ue's never been like this. She's been worried about my safety before, but this time it seems almost like… like desperation. Like she's afraid that something will happen to me._

_But I don't know what it is, and she won't tell me. _

Some time later, all the demons had been destroyed. The remaining slayers had already started to get rid of the fallen debris, and were trying to put out the blazing fires in some of the huts. Sango successfully eliminated the last demon with one throw of Hiraikotsu, but by this time, she was too exhausted to catch it properly. She caught it, but the momentum took her off balance and she fell backwards, landing on her back inches from the front of the porch, the heavy boomerang on her body.

"Ane-ue!" Kohaku shouted as he ran over to check on her. "Ane-ue!"

* * *

_Kohaku looked up, removing the gas mask from his face. Tears filled his eyes as he realized what he'd done, even if it had happened while he was under control of another. "Ane-ue…" he said in a choked whisper. His gaze travelled the chain of his scythe. It lead up to where the blade had punctured her battle outfit, causing a small pool of blood to stream out of her back. _

"_No… Ane-ue!" he screamed, reaching out to her. The sound of arrows being fired cut through the air, and they embedded all over his body. _

"_Kohaku!" The intense scream of his name left her lips as she watched him fall back onto the ground, his blood staining the dirt.

* * *

_

The memory seemed so vivid, and she had to mentally tell herself that it hadn't happened that way, that what happened now counted more than something she had managed to prevent. Kohaku had not just hurled his scythe into her back; he had not been shoot with a volley of arrows, the hoarse scream of pain never left his lips.

The memory wasn't real. It just _wasn't_.

Yet Sango still found it hard to believe that she had been able to save her village and prevent it all from happening, or at least most of it. But now was not the time to dwell on what might have happened if she hadn't acted the way she did.

"I'm fine, Kohaku," she said, her voice sounding pathetically weak even for her. Sweat covered her forehead and her face looked pale and worn out. She took off the gas mask and threw it onto the ground, enjoying the feel of skin coming into contact with fresh air. She didn't feel as suffocated as before with that mask on. Slowly she pushed Hiraikotsu off her body, and it clattered beside her as she took a moment to rest.

"You're not fine!" he said, kneeling down next to her. "That injury - it's tiring you out. You have to -"

"Kohaku," she interrupted him, still lying on the ground. "Get Father. Please."

"Ane-ue -"

"Kohaku! _Get Father!"_

The boy got up and headed off to find their father. Sango lay there, her breathing coming in quick, hurried gasps as the pain from the wound came sweeping over her at full force. The sky was a dark blue, smoke from the fires making it look slightly hazy and almost greyish. The ground was still covered in the remnants of fallen buildings, but some of the villagers were doing their best to clean the area and put out the fires.

_I am such an **idiot**._

She stared up at the sky, wondering just how much damage the demons had inflicted on the village before she and her comrades had come back. Her fist clenched itself against the ground as she attempted to sit up.

_I let it happen again. _

She tried to ignore the pain, but the combination of both her exhaustion from fighting so many demons at once and the injury prevented it.

_How many people died because of me this time?_

Shortly after, her father (who had taken the gas mask back to the hut with them) and Kohaku helped the taijiya into the medicinal hut to rest. It would be a while yet before things could resume in the village, but there was no lasting damage.

Still…

Sango felt as though she had lost.

Her brother was alive. She was too relieved about that fact to voice it in words, but hope for a better life _for him_ increased within her heart.

Her father was alive. She had at least prevented that.

Then why did it feel like she hadn't claimed victory?

* * *

_Naraku is still out there_, she thought, as her father finished bandaging her leg properly. She would have to rest here until the surrounding area was cleared. When he finished cleaning the wound, he gave her a hard look and left, telling the siblings that he was going to help their comrades finish clearing the area. The buildings would have to be fixed during the next morning.

Kohaku sat down by her, watching her anxiously. "Ane-ue, are you okay?"

She gave him a weak smile. "I'm fine, Kohaku." _I don't care what happens to me as long as you are safe. _

"You're not fine," he argued back. "You're going to have to let that heal properly before you head out on any more missions."

"I know that." Her voice was a bit sharp this time. The boy fidgeted.

"Ane-ue?"

"Hmmm?" She had closed her eyes, trying to get rid of the tension in her body.

He took the gas mask that was beside her on the little table. "Don't tell Father I said this, but… I really don't want to become a fighter when I grow up," he admitted.

"I know."

He didn't bother to hide his surprise. "You know?"

"I could tell," she replied softly. "I'm your sister, remember?"

There was a moment of silence before he spoke again. "Don't tell Father what I said, Ane-ue."

She didn't say anything, just lay there with her eyes closed. She really was quite tired.

"Promise not to tell," he pleaded. "He'll be so disappointed with me. I -"

"Kohaku," she finally said, her voice so soft he barely heard it, "it's okay."

"Ane-ue," he said, sounding worried at the thought of what his father would say if he had been listening to the conversation. "I don't want him to be disappointed. If you tell him that I don't want to become a true _taijiya_ -"

"Kohaku." Her voice was not sharp, but gentle and caring, and it wasn't loud, but quiet and pleasant, yet there was something in the tone of voice she used that made him go silent. She opened her eyes and turned her head slightly to face him. "How will you become a strong fighter like the rest of us if your heart is not into what you are becoming? You may become a strong fighter, the best in the province, but if you don't enjoy slaying demons, how can you ever be happy?"

The boy stared at her, as if her words struck a realization of which he should have already been aware of. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed and frowned it. After another long moment, in which their gazes connected, he lowered his head. "Because… because it's what Father - it's what Father wants."

She observed him, a concerned expression taking over her features. "Kohaku, if you keep trying to justify your dislike of fighting, you will not become the demon slayer that Father wants you to be."

_But then again, this is partially my fault. When he was younger, as a big sister, my job was only to encourage him, not to help him train. _

"He has always wanted me to become a great fighter like you, Ane-ue. I know I'm not as good. But -"

She sat up, taking his hand in hers and giving him a small smile. "Then tell him you don't want to train. Tell him your heart just isn't into being a fighter."

He looked back up at her.

_I don't want you to be a fighter anymore, either. It's not who you are, Kohaku._

_Why didn't I realize how much he disliked fighting before?

* * *

_

About an hour later the villagers and exterminators were able to clear up enough of the wreckage to provide a safer path to the main homes of the villagers. Some of the huts had been destroyed, their walls crumbling onto the ground, but most of them were still okay. The fires had been put out, and thankfully, Sango's home had not been damaged.

It would take some time to fix the damage, but for the most part, the village was alright. A few of the villagers had been killed, and they were buried near the back of the village, white flowers placed on them as a sign of respect. Of course, their father had informed both siblings of the extent of damage done, and at the news of the deaths, the older taijiya turned away, blinking back tears.

While Sango rested in her home, Kohaku went off to find their father and talk to him about becoming a demon slayer. The boy was nervous, but after encouragement from his sister, he set off, an uneasy look on his face. Not long after, he returned saying that Father had refused to listen to him.

Kohaku entered the building and sat down beside Sango, looking at her. "I talked to Father," he told her.

"And what did he say?" she said.

He sighed, running his fingers along the tatami mat she was resting on. "He… didn't believe me. When I told him I didn't want to fight, he said it was because I was just scared after what happened a few hours ago."

She sat up, her ankle less painful than it had been. She hadn't had a chance to change back into her casual outfit, and her battle outfit was starting to make her feel slightly more constricted, which was strange. Normally she liked to wear the outfit - it was extremely flexible. But now, the battle outfit felt like it was restricting her movements, almost suffocating her.

"I'll talk to him tomorrow morning," she said.

He shook his head. "I don't want to start up trouble between you and Father."

"Kohaku -"

"It's okay, Ane-ue. Don't worry about it," Kohaku told her. "Just - never mind. I don't want - I don't want him to -"

"Kohaku, listen to me. I don't want to watch you train, knowing that you are forcing yourself to do something you don't want to do, only because it pleases Father," she begged. "I will talk to Father tomorrow, just…"

She trailed off, wrapping her arms around her knees and placing her chin on them. A wave of exhaustion fell over her and she closed her eyes again. A small hand rested on her shoulder.

"Ane-ue, are you okay? That injury -?"

"It's fine." Her voice was barely louder than a whisper. "Father bandaged it. I'm just… I'm just tired, that's all."

At that moment, the flap at the doorway opened and their father stepped in. "Kohaku, I want you to leave your sister alone. She needs to get some rest, and you should probably get some rest as well. It's been a long day." His voice sounded tired as he made his way over to them. "Sango, I want you to stay off that ankle until it has healed completely."

By this time, Kohaku had went into another room. Their father sat down next to Sango, who had lain back down. He grabbed a thin, slightly worn blanket and covered her with it.

"Before you get some sleep, I want to know something," he said, keeping his voice steady.

Sango turned her face to the wall beside her, her throat starting to feel constricted. She knew what he was going to ask her, and she didn't have an answer. At least, not a reasonable answer that he would accept, even if it was the truth.

"Why did you attack the lord, Sango?" he asked softly, noting how she tensed. "Why did you do something so foolish like that?"

She swallowed and sat up despite the fact that her body badly needed some rest to recover. Her mouth opened as if about to say something, then she closed it. A hand went on her shoulder, and she turned to meet her father's confused, yet concerned gaze.

"Tell me."

"I can't…" she whispered, clenching her fists on her lap. "I… it's…"

"You did not have a reason to do that. We came there to exterminate the demon, and we did that. But suddenly you felt the need to attack the lord. We were to impress him with our skill, and yet you -"

He stopped as her gaze focused on his. He didn't know what it was that made him stop, but there was an emotion in her eyes, so powerful and full of sadness at the same time that he went silent, frowning.

"You didn't see the thread, did you?" she asked, even knowing what his answer would be.

"What thread?"

_The thread that possessed Kohaku to kill you and the rest of our comrades_, she thought bitterly. But she couldn't explain; he would never understand.

He hadn't had to witness the sight of the young boy killing off everyone else, the blood splattering everywhere.

He hadn't known that Sango should have died, that she came back to life with the purpose of struggling, and failing, to get that little boy back, the one who used to call her _Ane-ue_.

He didn't know of her struggles against Naraku. He didn't know Naraku even existed.

But what frustrated Sango most was the fact that her father had _no idea_ how it felt to have to _stand there_ and watch her brother be manipulated into killing hundreds of innocents.

And that was the part that she could not explain in a reasonable way to her father to make him understand.

He just hadn't been there.

* * *

_To be continued…_

_For those of you who are wondering, the end of the discussion is meant for you to draw your own conclusions. It gives you enough of an idea to imagine the 'argument' between Sango and her father. This chapter was originally twice as long, but I cut it in half due to events, and the fact that the chapter was just **too long**. _

_Finished typing - September 2nd, 2005_

_Posted - September 3rd, 2005_


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing except for this small, if original, idea.

_I apologize for lack of information on the Shikon jewel… I have not seen episode 25 for a very long time, so I cannot remember the story detail by detail. But I'm pretty sure most (if not all) of you have seen the episode, so you should know the background of the jewel anyway. I also had trouble deciding where to cut this chapter off; there were many points I could have left it at, but the problem was that I needed to cut it off at the most appropriate time to be able to connect to the next chapter._

_Enjoy!

* * *

_

Morning came quickly for the villagers. The sun peeked over the horizon, casting its rays over the village and the people who were just starting to wake up.

Sango was not awake yet. All the fighting from the day before had worn her out, and the wound, although not infected, had tired her out even more.

_Then again_, thought Kohaku with a faint smile as he sat up, reflecting on the previous day's events, _Ane-ue's always been like this. Always determined, always willing to try and help others no matter what the cost was._

A slightly worried yet anxious expression on his face, he went out to the main room where their father was making breakfast. "Father?" he asked tentatively.

"Yes, Kohaku? Keep your voice down," he told his son. "Your sister is still sleeping."

The boy briefly nodded and sat down. "I need to talk to you about something," he said.

His father placed the morning meal in front of him and set down a bowl for himself, sitting down to eat. "Is it about last night?"

"No." Kohaku fidgeted in his seat, stirring the contents of the bowl around. "I… I wanted to talk to you about training to become a taijiya. A true taijiya," he added, feeling that if he was going to put up an argument with his persistent father, then he should choose his words carefully.

"We've already talked about this, Kohaku," his father said sternly, looking disapprovingly at the boy. "Your sudden fear of becoming a fighter is only because of what you saw last night. You'll be stronger in time, Kohaku, so you will never have to worry about feeling defenceless like that again."

"No, Father," Kohaku protested. His attempt at trying to sound firm about his end of the argument was not working. "I don't like fighting… at least, not as much as Ane-ue does. I don't mind it… it's just that the life of a _taijiya_ isn't very appealing to me. I…" He looked down at the table, suddenly finding his breakfast very interesting as an embarrassed flush rose on his neck and face. "I don't want to disappoint you, but I think you already have the best _taijiya_ in the province." He paused, and the feeling of pride he had for Sango increased. "Ane-ue. I don't want to become a fighter exactly like her… I train because you want me to, but I don't think that the life of a _taijiya_ suits me. The techniques you taught me are good for both attack and defence, but I think that Ane-ue has the true spirit of fighting. I just don't like it much, that's all."

His father was silent for a moment, and Kohaku wondered if he was in for a lecture. Surprisingly, though, Kohaku looked up at him and his father's face resembled that he was actually in deep thought about Kohaku's words. Finally, after a long moment of tense silence, he spoke.

"I'll think about it. But Kohaku, listen: you would make a good fighter. Don't let what you've seen alter your decision of who you want to be when you grow up," he said grudgingly.

A faint smile crossed the boy's face, and he started to eat his breakfast with a bit more enthusiasm. Although his father had not openly said his final decision regarding Kohaku's future, what he thought might be best for the boy, Kohaku knew that his father was taking his words into reluctant consideration.

* * *

Later that afternoon, the older taijiya went out, saying that she felt like fighting a few demons. The action would release some of the tension in her body and allow her to vent some of her frustrations. 

It was a clear sunny day, and Sango almost smiled as she walked through the forest. Memories of her and her brother when they were younger and much more innocent flashed through her mind. She almost found it impossible to believe that she was not simply dreaming. The fear that she would fall asleep, only to wake up in her own grave, suffocating under a mound of dirt while clawing to get to the surface and take a breath of fresh air was still persistent in her dreams. The smile faded off her face. That memory would haunt her, perhaps until the day she would die. It wasn't something to forget so easily.

_Kohaku is not dead anymore_, she told herself. _He's alive. He is a real, flesh and blood person who can walk and smile, just like me. _

She would not lie to herself. The night before she had had a nightmare in which her brother stepped inside her room. She sat up, only to meet the blade of the scythe that had been hurled in her direction. Only by quickly stumbling off of her bed had she been able to avoid being cut across the throat, but it was a close miss.

The boy's blank eyes met hers, and he attacked her again. Not having a weapon to defend herself with, she had been forced to back away, crashing into some shelves. The blade struck her clothing, ripping through the material with ease and cutting her skin, sending blood everywhere.

"_Kohaku!" _she had cried out, running to her father's room. She had to tell him. But as she entered, the sight of his mangled body caught her attention, the blood streaming from his throat and staining the tatami mat. Horror and fear froze her completely.

Thankfully, at that moment, Sango woke up, sweat covering her forehead, her eyes darting across the room to make sure that the image from her dream had not come true; that Kohaku was not standing in her room, his hand gripping the scythe, preparing to target her. His eyes were not blank, vacant from any emotion, and there was no intent in his gaze to murder his own sister. But as Sango relieved the nightmare, she found that her entire body was shaking.

It had seemed too real.

And Naraku was still out there, somewhere. Most likely in a rage due to the unsuccessful attack on the village, but he was still out there, planning some other horrible trap.

Some other malicious event to kill her family and destroy her village in another way. Just for the shards. Another way to make her suffer - and to take pleasure in her pain and agony of it all, of being helpless to do anything about it.

She stopped, taking a breath to calm herself.

_You saved the village. _

_Kohaku and Father are not dead. You gave them another chance at life. _

_Naraku did not succeed in destroying everything this time._

"Ane-ue!" a younger voice shouted, and she turned around to see Kohaku running in her direction.

"Kohaku," she said, her voice sounding shaky.

He came to a stop, his breaths coming a bit faster from running, but he looked up at her, concern in his eyes. "Ane-ue," he said softly. "Ane-ue, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"I - I -" she stammered, unable to think up a response. She raised her hand to her face, only to feel moisture on her cheeks. "I… I'm sorry, I didn't mean…"

"What's going on?" he asked her. "Father said you went to take a walk, and I thought you'd want some company, even if you are going to slay some demons. Plus," he added, a more serious look in his eyes, "I want to talk to you about something."

She went over and sat down on a nearby log, Kohaku joining her. For a moment, she was quiet, wiping the tearstains off her face, then she turned to him. "What did you want to talk to me about, Kohaku?"

He was staring at the ground in front of him, but the way his eyes were slightly unfocused showed her that he was deep in thought. "Ane-ue, do you really think I have potential to become one of the best demon slayers?"

She hesitated before answering. "Kohaku… you are already a very good demon exterminator… but what I've been trying to tell you is that if you don't enjoy what you do, if you don't have the heart to continue doing it, then your potential skills will never be enough. You should enjoy what you do, not force yourself to do something just because it pleases the rest of us. And by the way," she added, catching his attention. He looked back up at her, as if he were afraid she was about to reprimand him for not telling her about his dislike of fighting sooner. "Whatever you choose to be when you grow up doesn't matter to me, Kohaku. Because…" Tears stung her eyes and her throat became slightly constricted. "… because you'll always be my little brother."

His eyes widened slightly. "Ane-ue…"

_What's wrong? Why won't you tell me?_

She shook her head. "I mean it, Kohaku. Don't force yourself to become something you're not. If you don't want to fight, then don't. I'll speak to Father about it when we get back, I -"

"Ane-ue," he said softly. "I already spoke to Father. He said it was okay if I didn't want to continue training."

"I'm proud of you."

He flushed slightly and looked down. "I don't hate fighting, I just don't enjoy it the way you do. I want to make Father proud."

Silence stretched between them. Sango kept glancing at her brother, then reflecting back on all that had happened before she had been sent back in time. He was alive, sitting right beside her. Unharmed.

With all of his memories.

But even though she knew she should be grateful to have been offered such a chance, to do something that was normally impossible such as this, doubt flickered at the back of her mind.

_What if Naraku attempts to destroy the village again? What if he sends another horde of demons? If he did, we wouldn't stand much of a chance against him. Some of our comrades are still wounded from yesterday, and we haven't had much time to rebuild the huts that were damaged. We don't have a good defence. _

She shook her head, reprimanding herself for dwelling on such dangerous thoughts.

_Damn it, Sango! Why can't you be happy with what you have now? It will take a while for Naraku to form another plan, and in the meantime, at least your comrades aren't dead! You do have defences in the villages!_

_But I can't help thinking that something else is going to happen, that another tragedy will strike without warning, and it will be the same as last time. Even though I know Kohaku and Father aren't dead and that Kohaku hasn't been brought back to use against me as a pawn, I can't forget what happened the first time. I can't forget how I failed the first time._

_That still happened, even if it didn't exist in this time. I can still remember it. The pain still exists in my heart and soul. Having to witness their deaths, and the one person actually murdering them was under control… he couldn't have done it by his own will… he was forced… _

_I remember watching him come back to life… his lifeless eyes and emotionless voice haunting my dreams… I felt so helpless whenever I confronted him. The pain is still strong inside of me… _

_And… I find myself unable to let go of it, even though I prevented it from happening _this_ time. I don't know if I can ever truly move on._

_I keep thinking that somehow, Naraku will find a way to ensure he gets the jewel shards. _

_I still feel helpless.

* * *

_

"Ane-ue?" Her brother's voice brought her out of her self-condemning thoughts. She looked back at him, sadness in her eyes. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing, Kohaku."

He frowned, not willing to let the topic slide so easily. "Ane-ue, you've been so emotional these past few days. What is making you seem so unhappy lately?"

For a moment, she contemplated on whether or not to tell him the truth. But even if he did believe her, he would never know such pain again. He would never understand what she had already gone through.

Like their father, he would have no memories, no trace of that horrifying recollection at all. It just wasn't the same.

"Kohaku," she began, then paused, deciding on how best to tell him. "I'm sorry. It's not… it's not something you can help me with. I'm just - I'm just reflecting on some things." She hated having to shut him out like this, especially when she knew how close they used to be as siblings, but she knew he wouldn't understand.

"Oh," he said, looking a bit crestfallen at her reply. "I'm sorry I can't help."

"It's okay." She gave him a tentative smile and stood up. "I think I'm going to head back."

He stood up. "Are you sure?" She nodded, and he finally returned the smile. "I'll come with you. Maybe I should try and catch some fish for dinner."

"That sounds good."

"I've gotten pretty good at catching the smaller fish. I'll see what Father thinks about it, he may have something else planned out," he said as they walked back.

All she did was smile at him.

As soon as they got back, their father mentioned something about a group of travelers, one wearing a rather odd outfit. This caught Sango's attention as Kohaku ran off. "A group of travelers?" she asked, unable to hide the slightl desperation and curiosity in her voice. "Where - where did they head off to?"

"To Midoriko's cave," her father said,

"I'm going to - " Here she paused, unable to think up a reasonable excuse, while knowing that, at any time, they would continue on their journey to defeat Naraku. She wanted a chance to talk to them, even if they wouldn't know who she was. After all, during their travels, Inuyasha, Kagome-chan, Shippou and Miroku had become like family to her. As much as she was happy to have the chance to be with Kohaku and Father again, she wanted to see her friends. " - I'm going to head out for a bit… I'm heading - I'm heading to the cave."

She went off.

Her father stood there, staring at her back as she left.

_Why has she been acting so strange all of a sudden? _

It didn't take her long. She didn't waste any time, knowing that the group, if they were still there, would leave soon. They hadn't stayed very long in her village the first time, only coming to hear about the jewel and…

_Putting the dead at rest_.

Sango nearly faltered during her brief walk, but she didn't. She would not allow the events of the previous time to control her emotions any longer. It was _now_ that counted, not a year ago when Kohaku had been possessed and her village destroyed. In this time, Kohaku was safe and alive, and her family was back at the village, busying doing another day's work.

After a few minutes, she reached the entrance of the cave. Briefly she recalled the words she had spoken to the group, giving them the explanation as how to enter.

"_Feeling sympathetic emotion for all those who have died is what will allow you through. She will understand and let you through_."

She took a deep breath, trying very hard to ignore the memories seeping into her mind. The tragic circumstances of her family and village had happened over a year ago, but it was something that she doubted she would ever be able to forget. It was just… too close. The memories were too familiar.

Her footsteps echoed lightly off of the cave walls as she passed through Midoriko's barrier. She could faintly hear the combined voices of the others as they admired the statue of the miko. Then Kiyomi's voice spoke, soft and slightly high in pitch, but still somewhat pleasant.

"Once a long time ago, there was a powerful warrior and miko, known as Midoriko. She became engaged in a battle with several demons. For several years she battled on, never resting. Finally, the day came when a particular demon was strong enough to overcome her, and she sealed it along with her spirit to continue the war." Kiyomi was explaining just as Sango stepped around the corner. They didn't notice her right away, and she had a few seconds to observe all of them once more.

* * *

Inuyasha, gruff and extremely insensitive at times, caught her attention first. He stood there, arms crossed over his chest, an unusually patient expression on his face, his ears rapt for any specific details regarding the jewel's purity. Sango switched her gaze to the ground for the briefest of moments, spotting the young, energetic kitsune kneeling on the ground and eagerly following the story of the Shikon jewel, before glancing over at her friend. 

Kagome was watching, paying attention to the story of the jewel like the others, her fingers reaching for the jewel that hung from her neck. The pink, innocent-looking object sparkled in the dim light of the cave, and Sango was a bit startled, but not at all surprised when Kagome asked the question, "So there's a miko _and_ a demon battling inside of this jewel?"

Kiyomi nodded. Her dark blue eyes and dark hair were shadowed by the dim light of the cave. "Even to this day, her soul continues to fight, never tiring, never giving up."

Finally the taijiya's gaze observed the houshi. He stood beside Kagome, starting to give a speech about the four elements that were a part of the jewel. "This jewel is called the 'jewel of four souls' because of the elements that were combined to make it." His violet-grey eyes were observing the statue of Midoriko, a silent curiosity in their depths.

"The four elements are sakimitama -" he started to explain, but his sentence was cut off as the hanyou turned and looked in her direction, his eyes narrowing.

"Who are you?" Inuyasha demanded. "You've been hiding behind us for the past few minutes."

She stared at him for a minute, too startled to think of a reply. Her mouth opened, but no words came out.

_Kami-sama… what do I say? They're my friends… and yet, I'm… I'm a stranger to them._

Kiyomi spoke up, saving the other taijiya the effort of thinking up a response. "Her name is Sango. She's one of my neighbours from the village," she answered, trying not to notice Sango's reaction to the group.

"I… I heard of some travellers passing - passing by… and…" She hesitated, her gaze withdrawing from Inuyasha's to meet the violet eyes of the houshi, who was staring intently at her. There was something in his gaze that was starting to unnerve her, making her feel like she was being examined in some sort of way. She fought to remember what she had been about to say. "… and I - I wanted to… I wanted to see who they were. I mean… to explain the story of Midoriko-sama… but obviously you're here, so… there's - there's no need for me to be here, r - right?"

She was aware that she was babbling like a fool, and that the rest of them probably thought she was an annoying idiot. Somewhere in the back in her mind, a tiny part of her was hoping that they would recognize her, would smile at her and say something, but at the same time, she knew that would never happen.

This was a different time, and she hadn't met the group.

She was a stranger to them all.

Kiyomi stared at her, frowning slightly. "Sango-chan, are you alright?" she asked softly.

Sango looked back at her, aware that her entire body was trembling, but whether it was from the shock of seeing her friends again so soon or if it was from the fact that they didn't know her, she couldn't tell. Maybe it was both.

"I - I'm fine," she said, trying to regain her casual demeanour. "I just… wanted to stop by… and…"

Kiyomi stood up. "Do you want to finish the story?"

Before Sango had a chance to respond, Kagome spoke up. "So, you're Sango-san?" she questioned.

Inwardly Sango winced at the choice of suffix, but she tried not to let it show. "Yes, I am. I live in the village that's not far off," she explained, her voice shaking slightly.

Finally Inuyasha spoke up, his usual gruff tone colouring his words. "We were told that there are jewel shards in your village. We need to collect them and keep them safe in case a demon called Naraku shows up and takes them all. I'm sure you know how much disaster would occur if the shards were to end up in the hands of the wrong person, so you should hand them over to us."

True to her reprimanding nature, Kagome spoke up in a scolding tone. "_Inuyasha! _We may need the shards, but you don't need to _demand_ them from Kiyomi-san and Sango-san!" She offered both taijiyas a polite smile, but it quickly faded away at Inuyasha's ignorance.

"Oh yeah? And how do you suggest we do that? Break into the village and _steal_ them!" he shot back.

Kagome looked as though she were trying to keep control of her temper. Shippou sat down on the ground shaking his head, and the houshi just watched the oncoming argument, evidently bored by the argument.

"No. We go to the village and ask _nicely_. I really should teach you some manners, Inuyasha," she sighed, tucking the partially completed jewel back into her outfit.

"Feh! Manners!" he said, shrugging off the word.

"Actually, to answer your question, we do know the possibility of danger is increasing now that the jewel has been broken. So we are keeping them safe in the main building," Kiyomi told him patiently.

"The jewel was created in our village, so I don't think Father would appreciate you guys taking the remaining shards," Sango said to the others, surprised that her voice was so firm, when on the inside, she had never felt less confident about what she was saying.

Inuyasha growled, and Kagome touched his shoulder. "Inuyasha…"

"Look, they'll be safer with us. We've already got half of the jewel anyway, so we should collect the remaining shards you have." His voice had a hint of understanding. "Kagome is trustworthy. We can't promise you that a demon won't get it, but I can promise you that we'll try our hardest to piece it back together as one solid gem. Then… I'll return it," he added, although the reluctance about that last statement was all too clear in his gaze.

Kiyomi nodded. "I'll go talk to the Chief about it," she said, heading out of the cave and leaving Sango with the group.

* * *

Sango had never felt so strangely alone in her life. 

She was with people she knew, friends that she had travelled with for about a year, but they didn't know her. The name _Sango-san_ was enough to communicate that to her shocked mind, even though deep down she knew they would never recognize her in this time.

Of course, when Kohaku had previously been possessed, it was extremely difficult for her to face him. Even though Kohaku refused to remember her because of the pain he knew it would cause, she knew that somewhere, in the back of his mind and the depth of his soul, was that little boy who would laugh and smile and greet her saying, _Ane-ue_.

At least she had known that he still had his memories, and that there was a chance she would get him back. Even if that chance was the closest thing to impossible without being so, at least it was a chance. That had been enough to keep her going at most times when things seemed to be on the edge of despair.

This was different. Simply stated, she was not a friend to them.

And that hurt. Because even if she had her flesh-and-blood family back, she wanted them as well.

They had _become_ family to her through friendship and forgiveness.

She didn't attempt awkward conversation. She simply stood there, staring at all of them, then when she could bear the odd silence no longer, she turned to leave. But a voice stopped her. It was Miroku.

"Sango-sama…" He came over to her, standing in front of her and taking her hands in his. His violet eyes stared into hers, as if he knew her, as if he understood who she was, even though that couldn't be possible. "Could you possibly find it in your heart to bear my child?"

Naturally, Sango wouldn't have thought twice about giving the monk a well-deserved slap across the face. Previously when she had met him, he hadn't asked her to bear his child due to the fact that she was still recuperating, and the other fact that he had more respect for her as an injured woman than anyone else.

But this time she hesitated. Tears stung her eyes and she found herself unable to look away. She opened her mouth to respond, wanting to give him some sort of insulting comeback for asking her such a thing, but she couldn't. She just couldn't. "H - Houshi-sama…" she managed to say, her voice nearly a whisper and trembling with emotion.

She wanted him to say her name. Not the _Sango-sama_ he had used during their travels when he was being overly polite to her to make her calm down from his efforts of trying to touch her rear, but the way he used to say it, his tone low and understanding whenever he was trying to comfort her or sympathize with her with her emotions bordered on tearful frustration.

He frowned, and she saw something like remorse flash in his eyes. He dropped her hands and stood back up. There was something in his gaze… something that she couldn't quite interpret. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "Forgive me for asking… such a thing."

She could only nod, her gaze not once breaking off with his. The silence stretched between them. Her mouth had turned dry, and she found it difficult to swallow. How could she tell him - and them - what she'd been through?

They didn't even know her anymore. Inuyasha was looking bored, and impatiently tapping his foot against the ground, a scowl on his face. Kagome looked curious, but something in her eyes told Sango that she understood the older girl was enduring something that none of them could understand.

Miroku gave Sango a faint smile, which she struggled to return despite the well of emotion building up in her stomach, and before either of them could say anything, Kiyomi returned.

"I'm sorry to say that the Chief does not agree with your wish of taking the jewel." All five of them turned to face her. "He says it would be too dangerous, especially with the fact that you already have other shards that demons will be wanting as you continue your travels, and we do have very strong warriors here who are more than willing to guard the shards that we have found."

Inuyasha started to growl, and a few well-chosen swear words started to stream from his mouth as a result of his anger and the last of his patience, but Kagome silenced him, her eyes pleading.

"It's okay, Inuyasha. We can come back later once we've finished the jewel. It'll be safer that way," she said, trying to calm him.

Sango took one last glance at the group, and turned and ran out of the cave, tears blinding her vision.

It just wasn't the same anymore. She didn't belong.

* * *

Later that night, after she had calmed down a bit, she went to her room. It was getting dark; the sun had sunk beyond the horizon, making the sky a mixture of dark purple and blue. A few candles had been placed in their holders along the walls of the room, creating dull shadows. 

She stopped and knelt down beside her bed, crossing her arms above the covers and burying her head in them. She was so confused about earlier events; having her father and Kohaku constantly ask her if she was alright when it looked like she was spacing out but just in deep thought only irritated her.

_I should be happy. I have my original life back. I saved almost everyone. Kohaku and the others are safe._

_But I'm not happy._

_Why? Why do I keep feeling that something is off, that something is not the way it should be? I was given this chance for a reason, but even though I fixed things… I have this feeling that there is something missing. I don't understand._

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up, and she had the distinct feeling that someone was watching her. Slowly she turned around, automatically tensing her body in defence and preparing for a fight. Just in case.

But the figure in the room was a safe distance from her, across the room, standing in a darkened corner. It wore a pale teal cloak with a hood, and was almost the same height, except that the figure was just a few inches taller. The room was dark enough to conceal the majority of the person's face, encasing whatever expression they were wearing in shadow. The only thing that was obvious were the pale blue eyes watching her reaction.

Sango quickly stood up, narrowing her eyes at this apparent stranger. She didn't have any weapons on her, but she instinctively knew that this person, whoever they were, had no intent to hurt her. The silence in the room deepened, and just as Sango opened her mouth to ask a question of significant importance, the figure beat her to it.

"What is your decision?"

The question was asked in a quiet tone, but was still audible over the heavy silence. It was asked in a rather pleasant, smooth tone, yet gave Sango the impression that this person was not here for a long discussion. Such a simple thing, but such a confusing question, considering the fact that the taijiya had no idea what the figure was talking about.

She also had no idea who - or _what_, for that matter - this person was.

* * *

_To be continued…_

_This chapter took me a long time; I did have writer's block at certain points. _

_Finished - October. 14th, 2005_

_Posted - October. 18th, 2005_


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. The originality of the plot, however, belongs to me.

_A **huge** thank you to **Bonzo the Fifth**, who was kind enough to take the time and revise this for me, bringing up a few good points in the process.

* * *

_

"What will your decision be?" the soft, smooth voice asked her.

Sango had the distinct feeling that this person - whomever it was - was not intending to stay for a long discussion. However, having suddenly been asked a direct question as if she and this figure had already been in deep discussion about a particular topic, the taijiya wasn't quite ready to answer.

"What?" she asked, hoping her father and brother were already asleep. The last thing she wanted was for them to come in and start asking questions. Of course, it wasn't like she would be able to answer them anyway.

"The figure took a few steps closer to her. Sango could barely tell by the dim light of the room that the figure was actually a woman - as Sango had assumed by the smooth tone of voice. The shadowy moonlight from the outside window gave the woman an almost ghostly appearance.

The woman had pale blue-greyish eyes with dark hair, although Sango could not tell how long it was because it was apparently tucked in behind her head in the hood.

"You heard what I said," the woman said quietly, although her voice was quite audible in the little room.

"Look, I don't know why you're here," Sango began, forgetting the cool demeaner that the unexpected visitor had radiated earlier, "but this is not a good time. It's late, I'm tired, and I would like -"

"This is a good of time as any," the woman cut across her, her eyes glinting silvery. "It is time I explained circumstances. My powers cannot keep this time-frame active for much longer if you remain indecisive."

"Then why - wait…" Sango sat back down. "Time-frame? What are you talking about? More importantly," she burst out, lack of proper sleep and irritation at the cryptic responses she was getting increasing her temper, "_Who _are you?"

"I am one of the three Fates."

"You're one of - then why are you here?" Before the Fate could answer, Sango sighed and put her head in her hands. "You should come back tomorrow. I'll be able to think more clearly and -"

"No. This discussion must take place tonight. I need to know what your decision will be." Despite the pleasant, seemingly patient tone of voice, the taijiya heard the briefest hint of irritation below the surface.

"My decision about what?" she asked.

"Your decision about whether or not you want things to remain as they now are."

"What? Time… dimension?" Sango slowly repeated, staring at the shadowy figure. "What are you talking about -"

The fate raised her eyebrows. "You wished to be sent back in time to fix what happened to your family and friends. You expressed that wish. I granted it, as you can see." She briefly waved a hand to indicate her room and surroundings.

"_If there was one thing I wish I could do… it would be to go back in time so I could fix everything. I wish I had the chance to go back and prevent all of it from happening, but I know that's not possible."_

Sango's eyes widened as the realization struck her. "_You_ did that?"

The Fate did not answer, but the silence seemed to confirm Sango's realization. The taijiya stared at her.

"Why?" she finally managed to ask.

The Fate raised an eyebrow. "I thought you would have figured that out by now."

"I - was it because you heard what I said? Why would you feel obligated to help me?" Being unable to stop herself, the questions rushed out of her mouth, the words almost sounding jumbled.

The Fate just shook her head, a slight motion that Sango barely perceived.

Sango attempted to make her tone sound more polite. "I'm sorry. I just don't understand - why did you do that? What do you mean by 'dimension'?"

The Fate said, "I did that to show you what things would have been like if your village had not been destroyed. That's why I granted your wish. So, to answer your other question… this time is not real."

Sango covered her face with her hands, trying to take in the response. The figure watched her, and for a short amount of time, the room was completely silent. At last she uncovered her face, a tired expression on her face. Her voice sounded weary with a hint of bitterness.

"Then I guess I don't have much of a choice in deciding what life I want to continue, do I?"

"You could stay here," the Fate suggested.

"But you just said this - this _time_ wasn't real!" The taijiya was starting to get a headache.

"It isn't. But you can continue living here. You can still exist in this time frame," the figure told her.

_You can still exist in this time frame._

Wondrous possibilities flew in her mind. Her comrades could continue their training. Her father would not be killed. She could lead her brother away from the path of the _taijiya_, and teach him a more peaceful way to get through life without having to resort to violence. He would not have to be a warrior, not when his heart wasn't in it.

_She_ could be with her family again without worrying.

Then another realization occurred to her. Sango stared at her. "Then… am _I _real?"

"To an extent."

Sango looked down at the floor, not really seeing it. "I can be with Kohaku again. I can live with my family again," she said quietly, more to herself than the figure watching her. "I can regain the brother I lost." Then something else came to mind. "What about my friends? Will they…?" _Will Houshi-sama…?_

"They won't be able to remember you, and it is unlikely you will ever find a purpose to see them again. Because as you remember, you only met up with them after you vowed to find revenge for your family. In this time dimension, you have not really met them, you have not become their friend; therefore chances are likely that you will never see them again unless you decide to travel. Even if you do, things will not be the same as in the other dimension."

"And if I return to the other dimension?"

"Then you will end up back where you last were before you went back in time," the Fate answered her. "The others will not suspect anything because to them you have never left. You will still have your memories of having travelled back in time, but it will not change anything."

Sango was silent once again, and the Fate regarded her closely.

"Sango," she said quietly, and the taijiya looked back up at her again. "I was going to ask you to give me your answer tonight, but I realize that you need more time to decide. We are not supposed to return in time; that is twisting the thread of fate. However, you may remain here and live out your life as you wish. But keep this in mind: things may not happen as you want them to, and if you remain here, you will not be able to see your other family again. I will give you until tomorrow night to decide."

Sango only nodded.

The Fate turned around and her body began to glow with a mysterious yellow light that seemed to come from inside her cloak. The taijiya watched her, then one last thing came to her.

"I have one more thing to ask you," she said. The Fate nodded, the yellow light starting to become brighter. "If I remain here… will I remember the others, of what has already happened?"

Just before the light enveloped the figure completely, one word came from the hood.

"Yes."

* * *

Kohaku walked into the forest that was not too far off from the village, barely taking notice of the clear sky and bright sun which was soon a bit shrouded from the thick, heavy branches of trees. He hadn't seen Sango all morning, but that didn't worry him. What did was the fact that she was, even if she hadn't noticed it herself, shutting him out.

He noticed it; the distant expression that frequent came on her face whenever she spoke to Father or him, as if there was something she wanted but was unable to grasp. He didn't have any idea what it was, except that it seemed to be something she couldn't get no matter how hard she tried.

And it had all started the day she came back from exterminating a demon. From the moment she had looked up at him, tears in her eyes, he knew that something was wrong, that something had changed.

He just couldn't figure it out, and it bothered him to no end.

_Ane-ue has always been relatively cheerful. Ever since we were little kids, playing in the river or arguing over food at the dinner table, she would have a smile on her face after the brief quarrel. She would always be willing to spend some time with me once her training was done, and when she scolded me, it was always with patience and understanding for what I did._

He stopped and frowned. The sounds of birds chirping and rustling leaves on the trees filled the quiet atmosphere around him. There was no sign of her. Not here, anyway. He'd have to keep looking.

_But now, she rarely smiles. I think she has something on her mind, something that's constantly bothering her, and she won't tell me what it is, no matter how hard I try to help. I don't like this. We used to be so close… and now, it's like there's a wall separating us. Last night she smiled at me, happy that I was, for the most part, unharmed from the invasion on our village, but… it wasn't her. It just wasn't the way she used to look at me. _

"_It's not… it's not something you can help me with."_

_That's what she told me, that I couldn't help her this time. I don't understand, and she won't say anything._

_Why!_

Not long after, Kohaku passed a cluster of trees, then heard the sound of something cutting through the trees. Instinctively he ducked, although the Hiraikotsu had been thrown quite a few feet above his head, and when he looked up, she had caught the weapon and was staring at him with a slightly quizzical expression on her face.

"Kohaku."

"A - Ane-ue!"

She looked away, absentmindedly flipping the weapon onto her back, her voice quiet.

"What are you doing here, Kohaku?"

He straightened, staring directly at her. "I came here to find you, Ane-ue. I want to know something."

If it was possible, he could have sworn that he saw sadness filling her eyes at his words. Unable to contain himself, he burst out, "Why won't you tell me anything, Ane-ue? Is it because of me? Am I doing something wrong?"

She didn't say anything, nor did she even so much as glance at him, although he did notice that her hand had clenched itself into a fist at her side. His frustration grew.

"Why won't you say anything?" he pleaded. When she proceeded to ignore him, or so it seemed, his voice rose to a shout. "_Ane-ue_! You said I was your little brother, that no matter what I did or accomplished, you would love me. If I'm so important to you, then why do you keep on shutting me out?"

She glanced at him, sadness reflected in her gaze, then turned to walk away. It took all of her willpower not to answer him. She wasn't ignoring him; on the contrary, she was listening quite intently to what he said, and she could identify the anger in his voice that lay just below the surface. Her throat felt constricted as she realized how much her silence was hurting him.

He had never had a reason to be angry with her.

He stood there, watching her leave. Finally, he spoke, although there was only one word, trembling as it left his lips, quiet and desperate for some sort of explanation. For anything.

"_Ane-ue."_

Tears burned at the back of her eyelids, but she refused to let him see. She didn't want him to know how his words were affecting her. She stopped, swallowing hard as she thought of what to say, although she didn't think she could speak without preventing her voice from trembling. Finally, she opened her mouth, hating how her voice sounded so shaky.

"There's nothing you can do."

There was only silence.

Mentally, she braced herself for the damage she knew she was about to see in her brother's face. She knew she had hurt him. He had offered a chance to reconcile, to confide in him what was troubling her, but in the end, the knowledge that he could not help managed to help her keep the words she longed to explain to him contained within her mind. And so knowing that, she turned around, trying to prepare herself.

He stood there, his mouth slightly open as he heard her say that simple sentence. His eyes reflected hurt and anger and resentment for what she had done, for what she would not do and what she would not tell him. He had outwardly expressed his feelings towards her silence, and she had only thrown it back at him.

They were siblings, as close as they could possibly be after growing up and spending time in each other's presence for so many years, ever since he could remember.

But now a stranger was standing in front of him, her eyes filled with a sadness so deep that he could not fathom, and would never understand.

She would not tell him, he would not understand, and it was because of that that he fell to his knees in the dirt, his fingers clawing into the ground as the limit of his frustration broke the surface. Tears spilled onto his cheeks and fell, making dark splotches among the dirt.

"Ane-ue…" he whispered.

She heard the respected title come from him, and a tear rolled down her own cheek. Quickly, she wiped it away before he could look up, then turned and left.

_Is it really any better this way?

* * *

_

It was a lovely evening. The sky was filled with a blend of purple and red and just a hint of blue, signalling that night would come soon. The villagers were singing songs and dancing while others were remaining seated on nearby logs, chanting prayers. The younger children were laughing and talking about the day's events, their happy faces lit a bright orangey-pink by the light of the campfire.

Kohaku made his way over to the side of the campfire that their father was on, roasting some meat. He handed a stick over with some pieces of meat on it to the boy, but Kohaku shook his head, indicating that he didn't want to eat just yet.

"Father, could I talk to you about something important?" he asked. His father lay the stick back on the wooden rack where it would not be burned by the flames.

"Kohaku, if it's about you training to become a warrior -"

"No, no," the boy assured him. "It's actually about Ane-ue. I'm just concerned about her behaviour, that's all."

His father paused and turned to look at him. "What do you mean?"

"It just seems like she's not really with us most of the time," he attempted to explain. "Like she's here with us, I mean physically, but her thoughts are elsewhere… she's not concentrating at the moment, and I don't know why."

Knowing how close the two siblings had been recently, his father asked, "Have you tried talking to her about this? Maybe you should suggest that you'd like to help her with it, whatever it is that's bothering her."

"I've tried. She won't tell me anything."

His father opened his mouth to say something, but before he could utter a word, Sango herself came out of the hut to join them, seating herself on the steps beside their father.

"It smells good," she said, sniffing at the air and shifting a bit closer to the fire. Just for a brief moment, her gaze connected with Kohaku's, then he looked down and she looked back at the fire, intent on avoiding him. Their father glanced between the two, and spoke.

"Kohaku, could you go and organize the weaponry hut for me?" he said in a mildly pointed tone of voice, ignoring the surprised look from the boy. "Ever since those demons attacked, it's been a mess, and I haven't had time to put everything back where it belongs." It only took a minute for the boy to catch on, and he stood up, heading to the hut. "Thanks."

Sango remained quiet. If her father had sent Kohaku away - and he had never done that before when they wanted to discuss something - then it must be serious. Had Kohaku -?

"Sango, I want to talk to you about something Kohaku recently mentioned to me," he began.

She stiffened, subconsciously shifting away from him and deliberately avoiding his gaze, of which she was sure that was analysing her rather closely as he spoke. Kohaku _had_ talked to him about earlier. Inwardly she sighed, feeling herself tense up at his words. While she could not so easily hurt Kohaku but at the same time have her reasons for doing it, she could not escape her father's judgement.

"It's nothing. I've just been thinking about some things," she said, trying not to sound like she was avoiding the subject on purpose, even though he could probably see through her tactic.

"Sango."

She shook her head. "Father, it's okay. I understand that Kohaku's confused, but this is something I have to do on my own. It's something I have to think things through on my own."

_Quite literally, I am alone. No one can help me with this. I don't know what to do just yet, and there are only a few hours left. That 'person' will be appearing tomorrow, and I'm not ready to face her yet. I don't know what to decide, if I can decide._

He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Sango, if you need to talk to me, just let me know. I will do whatever I can to ensure that you can take care of that which is bothering you."

She was quiet for a few moments, then she responded with a quiet, "Thank you, Father."

The two sat there, watching the flames bend slightly due to the gentle breeze, and the sky was now a navy blue, stars beginning to appear and twinkle down at them. Finally Sango spoke again, breaking the peaceful silence between them.

"Father," she began. "If I was to leave on an adventure, to go travelling for a bit and meet new people, what would you have to say on that?"

He turned to look at her; her gaze was intense as she waited for his reply. He hesitated, then replied, "Are you planning to leave the village for a long time, Sango?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm just wondering. I promise you that I am not leaving until I have completed my training."

He looked thoughtful, frowning just slightly. "I'm glad to hear that. If you were to leave in the future - after Kohaku has grown up and can take proper care of himself - I would accept your decision as that of an adult. I would also expect you to have your reasons and to know where you are going, not to wander aimlessly throughout the country."

"What if -" Here her voice shook just the slightest. " - what if I set out on a journey but did not have the intention of coming back for a long time?"

This time he shifted closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her against him in an embrace. Although she knew that he did not understand her sudden inquiries about going on a 'journey', his attempt at providing comfort was still as reassuring as it had ever been. He held her tightly for a moment, then spoke, his voice firm and quiet, so that the others around them could not distinctly hear what he was going to say.

"Sango, I taught you how to fight not just because I want you to be a warrior, but so that you can protect yourself and live a happy life," he said. "If going on a journey when you have matured will content you, then I will respect your decision. All I want is for you to be happy."

His answer did not settle the matter for her as she thought it would. It only made the internal debate that much harder.

Who to pick?

_Kohaku, Father, and everyone else… I gave them a second chance. I can touch them again, I can laugh and cry with them, I can do things with them as a family. This is the way it should be - I can never forget that. I can be with them again… do things that will be forever destroyed should I choose to go back to the group. _

_But Naraku might come back. He could plot another scheme to try and destroy the village, and what little defences we have other than our comrades are little to none. We would not be prepared for such an annihilation. I would not be able to stop him on my own… and there would still be loss._

_Inuyasha, Kagome-chan, Shippou… _

_All of them became like family to me… almost like my blood family. They were kind, they accepted me for who I am, and not once did they challenge my reason, my obligation towards what I thought was right even though I knew deep down that it was wrong, that it was just another plan by Naraku. Together, we have managed to get closer to Naraku than I ever would have thought possible. _

_And Houshi-sama. _

_If I stay here, I will never see him again. He brought such comfort to the days when all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and surrender to desperation. He always had a smile for me, he always knew what to say at the right time. __He was such a gentleman when he tried to be, and I inwardly thank him for that. _

She paused in her thoughts. It was such a difficult choice, she almost preferred that the Fate had not given her this chance. Whatever one she chose, it would leave her filled with guilt for the possibilities that could have taken place for the other one. Either way, she would gain something, but at the same time, lose something else.

_Kohaku… my little brother. I could stay here and use this chance to do things right. To protect you from harm like I should have done the first time. To guide you away from the violence that you should never have been exposed to at your age so soon, so abruptly. I could do that._

_Houshi-sama… my battle partner. He was always there behind me, supporting me and comforting me whenever things seemed to be resigned for the worst. It was the way he said my name, the way he looked at me, the way he was always willing to risk his life to save me from any sort of danger. He is not just a lecherous monk, he is my friend.

* * *

_

Later that night, she had carefully thought it out with all the possibilities. Either way she would gain something, and be slightly content with what she would have and could do, and at the same time, lose something she cherished. It was one way or the other, there could not be a middle. Not this time.

After reflecting upon every last thing she could think of, she came to a conclusion:

In the end, there wasn't really a choice.

* * *

_Finished - December. 10th, 2005_

_Posted – December. 12th, 2005_

_Whew! I never thought I'd ever get this chapter done. No, seriously. The fact that it's still logged on to my profile page is still starting to annoy me, so I opened a Document and started typing away. It didn't take long before I became absorbed into the emotions of the characters. _

_I'm hoping that the characterisation between their father and the siblings isn't as bad as I think it is. It reminds me almost of the way Miroku speaks, with such calmness. As for the Fate, the reason why I stopped referring to it as a "woman" was because, to me, the Fates are not human in the same way we are. They are more like immortal guardians, watching over the passage of time. Think Xena: Warrior Princess. _

_As for the last chapter, I have no idea how long it will be, nor how long it will take. It should sum up all your questions and provide a satisfactory ending. It was tough, weighing the pros and cons, but I do know the final decision she makes in the last chapter. I've planned it from Chapter 3._


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything, but the idea for this chapter is still mine.

_This story was originally supposed to be six chapters at most, but as I wrote it, I realised that not all the conflicts could be smoothly resolved in only six chapters. As I wrote out the plans for the final chapters, I realised that everything could only be answered within ten chapters rather than cramming it in the original number. There were quite a few points in this chapter which could have easily turned the overall theme into Romance (but this story wasn't meant for Romance!) so I constantly had to re-write dialogue and descriptions out. _

_I know I already thanked **Bonzo the Fifth**, but I feel I owe him another thank you, due to the fact that if it weren't for his suggestions halfway through the story, I would have missed a big plot element without even realising it. So thank you for your editing skills… I doubt the final chapters would have been as thorough without your help.

* * *

_

She sat on her tatami mat, gazing out the window. Her mind was still filled with the possibilities that were likely to happen for both choices, and the things that would never happen.

She had never had to make such a big decision before, and no one could help her. She had shut her brother out, because it was his concern that would lead him to doubt her sanity, doubt what she had been through and yet, in this time dimension, _hadn't_ been through. He would think she was crazy.

Not that she could blame him. She herself hadn't believed it when it first happened two days ago.

Only two days ago. It seemed to her like it had happened a long time ago rather than just a couple of days. But that was probably because she had been so busy.

She had come to a decision. As regretful as she was about it, there was no other way to go about it. She had mentally crossed off the what-ifs and possibilities in her mind as she had gotten ready for bed. Now it was just a matter of waiting before the figure decided to show up.

The sky was now an expanse of navy blue, and the sounds of people heading back inside their huts for the night filled the quiet atmosphere. The fire was being put out; the orange glow was starting to fade away against the darkness of the night. She was staring out the window, wondering when she would receive the visit, when a thought struck her.

Kohaku.

She was about to make her decision… without saying goodbye to him. Urgency swept over her.

_Kohaku._

She wanted to watch him grow up and become a handsome young man. She wanted to see him continue on a path he enjoyed and appreciated, not because it would enable him to gain status as to whatever he decided to become, but because she wanted to see him happy.

She got back up and headed over to his room, trying hard not to make any sound as she stepped over the floorboards and towards his room. She had to tap lightly, as his door was closed and waking up her father was the last thing she needed to happen.

"Come in," she heard her brother's voice whisper. She entered.

He looked almost pale in the dim moonlight of the room, the covers drawn up around his waist. His hands lay on his lap, and he looked a bit nervous, making the obvious attempt to avoid her gaze as she had done earlier. Clearly the unspoken tension between them earlier was still on her mind, as her expression was a mixture of hesitance and at the same time, determination.

"Ane-ue," he began, not knowing exactly what it was that he was about to say.

"I'm sorry about earlier," she said quietly. He looked back up at her and she could see that he was watching her out of the corner of her eye. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just frustrated, and I couldn't think clearly when you came. It wasn't right for me to let my frustration out on you."

"I'm sorry too," he replied, playing with the covers as he spoke. She turned to look at him, slight surprise etched across her features. "I should have respected your privacy, Ane-ue. But I wanted to ask you something."

She said nothing, only continued to wait for his question. Whatever it was, she would do her best to answer. It was the least she could do for him after everything she had tried so hard to shut him out from, even if he couldn't understand. She owed him this.

"Do you trust me?"

Her throat felt constricted at his question. To him, it sounded nothing but an honest question that only wanted a sincere answer, but to her, it was what she had nearly sacrificed for her own gain, even if it was for the right reason.

"Kohaku…"

"Ane-ue, I thought about what you told me earlier, that I couldn't help you. I'm sorry," he said, staring back down at the blankets as if he thought she was about to yell at him. His fingers continued to fidget nervously as he wanted for her to reply.

"No, Kohaku, _I'm_ sorry," she finally said, trying her best not to let her voice crack. She would not allow herself to cry in front of him. Not now.

"But Ane-ue, I was forcing you to -"

She shook her head, tears burning her eyes despite her best efforts to hold them back. "It wasn't your fault. You weren't forcing me to do anything - I was being - I was being - " Her hand rose to cover her mouth, to muffle the sound of the sobs rising in her throat.

_I cannot do this. I cannot just hug him, tell him everything will be alright, and then leave. _

Vaguely she heard her brother ask her if she was alright, but she was unable to answer for fear of crying. She just couldn't - not at a time like this. She needed to smile for him, to reassure him that things would be alright even if they would never be alright in the 'other' time, and tell him how much she loved him. She could not leave without knowing she had done the right thing, even if…

… _even if they never remember._

She covered her face, trying futilely to hold back the emotional flood that had been rising in her all this time, but the tears spilled over her cheeks, and she looked away from the face that had haunted her dreams so many times in the past; the face that had murdered her friends in front of her. The boy that she would have to witness murdering innocents again, should she choose to return.

"Ane-ue…" She felt his hand on her shoulder, attempting to offer some sort of comfort. "Ane-ue… I'm sorry. Whatever I did… whatever is causing you so much pain lately… I'm sorry."

She didn't want to go back to the shell of an resurrected brother in the other time. She didn't want to see Kohaku's blank eyes, devoid of any emotion, staring at her. She couldn't stand to see him raising that scythe again to complete another slaughter of innocent villagers, just because Naraku ordered him to do so. She didn't want to have to fight him.

She wanted her brother back. It was as simple as that. Maybe it was impossible in the 'other' time, but not this one. In this one, she had the boy who was full of laughter and smiles, the innocent eyes that never gleamed with the crazed intent to kill for any purpose other than the one assigned to him.

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to leave. Maybe she was just being selfish.

"No, you didn't do anything," she said, directing her words at him, but at the same time, sounding more like she was talking to herself. "None of it was your fault."

_None of it. I don't care what Naraku says. That boy is not my brother, and if I have to kill myself along with him to make sure the suffering ends, I will do it. I have to. There's no other way._

And maybe returning to the others would give her the chance to claim what she had been fighting for, for such a long time. Maybe it was better she returned to the others, to complete what she had set out on. She would have a much better chance of defeating Naraku if she went with the group.

_Should he plan to come back and attempt to destroy the village once again, we have little defence. Perhaps… it's for the better._

_Every time I turn around, memories from the past come back to haunt me. I don't think I can live like this for much longer. I can't just forget what happened, because I saw it happen right in front of me. Nothing can change that. _

_Perhaps… my original decision… is the correct one._

He sat there, and he waited. He had no idea what she was thinking about, because she had turned her face away in an attempt to hide her tears from him, but he could tell that from the trembling of her shoulders that she was still in some sort of pain. Something that he felt helpless for, not being able to do anything to help.

So when she finally turned to face him, her eyes shining with tears, he threw the covers aside and flung his arms around her, holding onto her yukata tightly. He could feel her shaking more than ever now, as she held him tightly to her bosom, just as she had done when he was only a small toddler. Her voice was barely a whisper when she spoke.

"I'm sorry Kohaku. I'm so sorry."

The minutes passed, and they sat there, simply holding each other, neither wanting to break from the embrace. However, the only one to truly feel the pain of separation would be Sango, and she thought she would never be able to let go. When she finally loosened her hold enough for him draw back, she felt a combination of fear and regret churn inside her stomach.

"It's okay," he said, drawing from her.

She moved off of his bed and went to the door, looking back at him for the last time.

This was the boy she wanted back. The boy she was looking at now still had that innocence in his eyes. He wore the gentle smile on his face, and the sound that filled his ears was not one of murderous intent achieved by a swift blade, but of laughter and peace. His hands had never used the scythe to kill a human being for the purpose of none other than being under Naraku's service, and he would never see blood stain his hands. This boy was her brother.

She gazed at him, firmly tucking that image away in her head, because it was the only thing that would keep her going, the only thing that would prevent her from wanting to claim suicide.

_Kohaku. I love you, little brother. But no matter how many times I tell that to you, you won't remember anyway…_

Nonetheless, the words slipped from her mouth faster than her attempt to contain them, to prevent any more regret. "I love you… Kohaku."

"It's going to be alright, Ane-ue," he said softly, giving her a small smile. Did he know? No, he didn't, but he could pretend; and as long as they had the knowledge that things worked out the way they were supposed to, it was enough for now.

No, it wasn't alright. But it would have to be for now, because he wouldn't remember anyway, and there was no turning back.

She left his room and walked back to her own room in a dazed walk, feeling a wave of disbelief settle over her mind.

_I'm leaving everyone. Father, Kohaku… _

The realisation directly hit her for the first time, and as she realised how she had reset her own fate, a sort of numbness swept over her, stopping her in her tracks just outside her room. She turned and looked back down the hallway at the door that led into Kohaku's room.

It would be so easy, really, just to tell the Fate that she couldn't do this. It would be _so easy_ to remain here and live out the rest of her life. Once again, tears filled her eyes and she bit her lip to keep the sobs from rising in her throat. Crying would not change anything.

Taking a shuddering breath, she wiped her eyes, and with an air of determination around her, she went back into her room. She didn't have long to wait; after a short period of time, the yellow light appeared in her room, and after it disappeared, the Fate stood in front of her, expression expectant.

"Have you made your decision?" she asked curtly.

Sango swallowed; her throat had gone dry at what she was about to say. "Yes."

"Well?"

"I've chosen - I've chosen to go back," she choked out. The Fate blinked, looking slightly confused.

"And why is that?" she asked slowly. "Did you not want this chance to fix things, to bring them back as they should have been in your perspective?"

It took all of her willpower to suppress the well of emotions that were threatening to burst out of her. "Because I realised something. Even if I do stay here, things will never be the same," she admitted quietly. "I've changed, I have the memories of what has already happened. You even said yourself that this place -" She waved a shaking hand around the room in a dismissive manner " - isn't real. It's just another realm you created to make me see what could have been. I understand that now. Plus, if I were to stay here, Naraku would just find another way to destroy my family and village. I have a much better chance of defence if I join my friends… and I miss them."

The figure was still for a moment as she took in the taijiya's words. "Is that your final decision?"

Sango nodded only once, her gaze never leaving the Fate's.

"Good. Tomorrow morning, you will return to your friends."

And the Fate disappeared in a familiar flash of yellow light.

* * *

"Sango! Come on, we have to get moving!" an impatient voice shouted at her. 

The taijiya opened her eyes and sat up, immediately taking in her surroundings. It was the same place they had camped in the night before she had been brought back in time. The day looked to be a fairly pleasant one; the scenery consisted of trees, flowers and the sounds of birds chirping, and there were only a few fluffy, white clouds in the sky.

And Inuyasha, Kagome, Shippou and Miroku were packing up, getting ready to go. She didn't move.

"Hurry up, or I'll drag you out of that 'sleeping bag' myself!" the hanyou barked at her, oblivious to Kagome's reprimanding warnings. She shook her head, trying to recall where they had been heading without looking like some sort of stupid fool.

"Sango-chan, is there something wrong?" Kagome asked her. The taijiya shook her head again, attempting to clear it of all the things that had previously happened within the past two days. Almost mechanically she slid out of the sleeping bag and began rolling it up. Inuyasha, being the impatient hanyou he was, took it from her and quickly rolled it up into a somewhat messy bundle of material. Sango just knelt there, trying to get a grasp on things.

"Sango-chan?" Kagome repeated, gentling her voice a bit, sensing something was not right. "Are you okay?" If the taijiya was in one of her melancholy moods, she couldn't understand why. They hadn't had any recent confrontations with Kohaku, nor had they passed by her village.

This time Miroku took notice, as he finished packing up his own things. Placing his staff against a tree trunk for support, he approached her, kneeling down beside her. "Sango, we're getting ready to leave. You might want to hurry," he told her, lightly nudging her shoulder.

She nodded.

Inuyasha stared at her, as did Kagome and Shippou. Inuyasha opened his mouth to say something, but whatever he had been about to say didn't make it out of his mouth before Kagome took his sleeve. She scooped Shippou up into her arms, and headed off, trying to immerse them into some sort of conversation and give her friend and the monk a moment alone.

The monk just sat there next to her, wondering what on earth she could possibly be thinking about to make her act this way. It wasn't that she appeared to be sad or anything, not that he saw any reason that she should be, but that she was not quite _there_ with the rest of them. Often he had seen her lost in thoughts, but right now, she seemed to be virtually unaware of anything else.

"Sango," he said, becoming uneasy at the extended silence. "Is there something wrong?"

"No…" she whispered. But she didn't elaborate like he thought she would, and it only worried him more. "Houshi-sama… could you ask that I be allowed to visit my village?"

"You want me to ask Inuyasha?" he asked, failing to hide his surprise. Normally he would ask her why she couldn't just ask him herself, but he sensed that there was more to this than what he was being told, so with a slightly puzzled look on his face but at the same time with the determination that this odd request would be explained later, he went.

And it was more or less on Kagome's word that she would be allowed to return to her village with a fierce warning to Inuyasha about using a certain command, but the taijiya soon found herself heading back to where it all started. Miroku joined her, telling her that he would come with her just in case. She disagreed at first, trying to convince himself as well as herself that she would be fine and did not need his presence nearby for anything, but deep down inside she knew she would be more fragile than ever once she was inside her village area. Perhaps she needed to come to back to reality, to convince herself that her village was destroyed, and within her mind, be destroyed beyond repair. Things would never be as they once were.

She and Miroku went back to the village. Kagome had said that it would be better if Shippou and Inuyasha stayed with her to give the other two some time alone for whatever it was that happened to be bothering her, and Miroku agreed. Whatever it was, hopefully she would trust him enough to tell him about it once they entered her village region. And if not… he would still respect her silence. After all, it wasn't like he _deserved_ to be told every last detail. He just wanted to know, but he would not pressure her.

It took them the rest of the morning and half-way through the afternoon before they finally reached the area. Sango stepped inside her village, bracing herself for the impact although at the same time expecting it to overwhelm her like always.

She was right.

* * *

The sight of the collapsed huts, the damaged temple and the burned, scattered debris torn from the walls and roofs of the huts overwhelmed her senses, causing her to kneel down. She could vaguely hear the monk asking her something, but had no idea what it could have been. It was her home, but at the same time, it wasn't home. It couldn't be. 

He had insisted on coming along, but she didn't want him to see the pain she was in. After several attempts at calling her name, he finally knelt down next to her to see if she was alright.

"Sango," he said quietly, not wanting to put any pressure on her but still concerned about her lack of response. "Did you want to say a few prayers to your father? I can wait right here if you want."

She didn't answer.

He grew more worried. Sango had always been melancholy after mention of her home or family, which was understandable, but she'd never blocked him out like this. Then again, he hadn't ever had the chance to accompany her on one of her more personal visits to the village, so he wasn't quite sure what to say.

"Sango? Would you prefer it if I left you alone?" He was starting to think that volunteering to keep her company probably hadn't been the best idea. She preferred to be alone in her grief. At least, that's what he assumed after the many times of watching her leave the group for a few minutes to compose herself after some sort of confrontation with her brother.

Just before he was about to abide by his own suggestion and leave her in her silence for a few minutes, she raised her face back up, her gaze steadily following the graves that lay stationed only a few feet away from the huts. There were a few tearstains on her face, although she had not made a sound, nor had she made any intention of moving closer to where the graves lay. Her hands were on her lap, clenched into fists and trembling.

"No…" Her voice was barely louder than a whisper and he put a hand on her shoulder to offer what reassurance he could. He felt so helpless seeing her like this; why couldn't he think of something to say? He had always been good when it came to words, but now, as he watched her, his mind was blank.

"Sango…"

She seemed to come back to herself for a moment, raising her hand to her face and absentmindedly wiping the tears away, as if just realising she had been crying. "I'm sorry," she murmured, although he wasn't quite sure if she was apologising for the tears or for lack of acknowledgement. "I… this…" She had no idea what she was trying to say; her mind was fumbling for meaningless words to fill the silence between them.

"You don't need to be sorry," he said softly, observing her closely. He could sense that something had happened to her, but he wasn't quite sure if he wanted to know what she was thinking. All he knew was that she was in some sort of pain that he could not comprehend, and he wanted to help her. He just didn't know how to.

She got up, slowly approaching the graves. A wave of dizziness swept over her as she came closer to her father's grave, and the nausea rising within her was threatening to overwhelm her at the scene.

_I was just here… _

She reached out a trembling hand to touch the mound of dirt, to gently move her fingers along the petals of a flower that had been placed on the grave.

_Father… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for what happened. If only I had…_

She withdrew her hand as Miroku knelt down beside her, watching her. His voice came out very quietly, so as not to disturb the sombre atmosphere. It sounded almost distant to her.

"Sango, did something happen?"

_Did I make the right decision?_

"Sango, was there something in specific that you wanted to do while you are here?"

_Yes. I wanted to know if it really happened._

"I understand that you wanted some time alone, but Inuyasha, Kagome-sama, and Shippou cannot continue -"

"Did I even do the right thing?" Without warning, she turned and threw herself into his arms, sobs racking her body. He was too startled to respond at first, shock evident in his expression, but then instinct took over and he wrapped an arm around her.

This was only the second time he had ever seen her cry. The first time was when she'd learnt that Naraku had tricked her into stealing Inuyasha's Tetssusaiga, and when she found out the truth, had finally allowed herself to mourn for the loss of her loved ones, seeking comfort and desperate hope in Kagome's arms.

So he sat there, simply holding her and stroking her hair, listening to her cry. He had never taken an opportunity to really offer much, if any, reassurance; to actually sit down with her and talk to her about her goals for the future. He had never bothered to find out much about her aside from the fact she wanted to avenge her family and village by hunting down the despicable bastard. The woman in his arms was the vulnerable side of Sango, the part of her he did not truly understand, nor had he ever taken much of an opportunity to see. She seemed so fragile and alone in his arms, and he tightened his hold. When he spoke, his voice was gentle.

"I'm sorry for everything, Sango." The words were genuine, not the false allure he used on most village girls soon after he met them. He said the words with pure honesty, for the first time realizing just how much pain she hid from the group. He was also just realizing how much he cared for her, how he did not want her to have to suffer any longer. However, there was no way he could cease her suffering; it was up to all of them.

After a few long moments, her crying diminished to sniffles, and she simply lay there in the comforting embrace of his arms, embarrassed for acting like this in front of him.

"I'm sorry," she finally apologized, her voice slightly hoarse as she wiped her face. "I didn't mean…"

"It's perfectly alright," he said, smiling down at her even though she had not actually looked up at him yet. "I'm sure you needed to do that. Sometimes it helps to let out the pain, Sango, before it builds up and overwhelms us."

"But you didn't deserve -"

He drew back from her so he could see her face, momentarily lifting her chin with a finger so she would meet his gaze. "Sango, it's alright." She opened her mouth, perhaps to contradict him, but his gaze was filled with understanding for her sorrow and that was enough to silence her.

She closed her mouth, her gaze travelling back down to the ground.

He got to his feet and extended a hand to her. "There's something I would like to know, and talking about it… _here_ would not be the ideal location. Let's go sit on the steps." She took the offer, and they headed over to the front porch of the building that had once housed a certain jewel. They sat down, although the monk was careful not to touch her in any way that would pressure her into talking. All he said was her name to get her attention, and she looked back at him, her eyes still a bit red from crying.

"I'm a bit confused as to why you wanted to come back here all of a sudden," he said, frowning slightly. "I know that the topic of your family and village is not exactly a happy one, but is there something else going on? Ever since you woke up this morning, you've been acting a bit differently. I don't understand."

She sighed, looking away again. Her gaze travelled past the graves to observe the rubble that used to be huts, past the dead animals to where a bunch of destroyed carts lay amidst the rubble. "I doubt that you would believe me even if I tried to explain. I don't even know if I can accept what happened. It happened so quickly… it could have been a dream. It _felt_ real, but… I just…"

His hand searched out hers and grasped it gently even as her gaze connected with his. "Sango… whatever happened, I will try and do my best to help."

"I don't know if - I don't know if… " She stopped, struggling to gather her thoughts so she could try and give him some sort of explanation, any sort of the vaguest explanation as to why she was so emotional. She knew he was confused and she could not blame him, but she was not sure if she understood.

_Did it really happen? Did I just destroy the final chance I had to be with my blood kin again?_

Her throat tightened; the words would not come. Miroku frowned and shifted closer to her. He wanted so badly to hold her, to tell her everything would be alright, but he couldn't. The taijiya needed her personal space, and he was not going to take a chance and intrude on it while she was vulnerable like this at the risk of her trust.

"Sango… maybe we should talk about this another time. I don't want to pressure -"

"You're not," she whispered, turning to face him. Unshed tears were still in her eyes, but she was not about to let them fall. He gazed back at her, trying to comprehend the mixture of regret and longing that he saw.

She wanted to hold onto him, to wrap her arms around him and feel the security and comfort of having _something_ to grasp, _something_ to anchor herself with so that she wouldn't succumb to the tragedy that had befallen her village.

Mainly she just wanted someone to trust, someone to depend on when she neared the brink of losing it all, of giving up entirely.

The only person she could really trust as a friend was Miroku, yet at the same time, he was the last person she wanted to trust or needed to confide. Kagome had proved her friendship a long time ago, but something was different with the monk, something she could not quite place. And it was times like this when she wondered if he truly did care about her.

Because _that_ was what she needed most of all.

She restrained from launching herself into his arms. Maybe the reason being that her constant grief so close, she wanted to be closer to someone, to feel the comfort of not being alone despite showing her vulnerability. Her father might think of her as being _weak_, but she didn't care. She wanted to reach across what little space there was between them and hold on and never let go.

"I…"

She tried to form a sentence, but failed. How could she possibly explain what she was still struggling to comprehend herself? How could she try and explain to _him_? He would think she was crazy. After all, time travel didn't really exist. Then again, maybe she was crazy, and the grief was starting to affect her mind. Maybe it _was_ all just a dream.

During her thought processes, the monk had shifted close enough so that she was nearly in his lap. His hand had freed itself from her gentle clutch only to move around her shoulders and slowly, gradually pull her against him so that her upper body was practically leaning against his chest. His other hand had found her other hand and was gently stroking it, as if to reassure her. Instinctively, she knew she should have been angry for him doing such a thing without notice, but at the same time, she just could not bring herself to move away.

Not now.

"Thank you," she murmured, grateful that he did not question about her lack of proper response.

_Thank you for being here._

He didn't reply at first, rubbing her shoulders in a soothing way. They sat there for an extended period of time, neither wishing to withdraw from the embrace. The silence eventually calmed her, and after what might have been anywhere from a few minutes to an hour, she sat back up, her strength renewed.

"I guess I do owe you an explanation," she said, managing a faint smile. "I must have startled you when I… when I launched at you, back near the graves." The hurt from seeing her family dead lingered deep in her heart, but it was easier to accept now.

He raised a hand to intervene. "No, Sango, you don't owe me anything."

"Well, I can understand it if you're confused and want some answers," she said. "Maybe I should explain things to you. At least, I can try and explain as best I can."

She proceeded to tell him everything; from the moment she walked into her village and saw everyone alive again to the chain of events that led her to realize what a decision she still had to make. Upon reaching the part when she had to say goodbye to Kohaku, her voice lowered until it was barely audible to him, and she had to look away.

"I guess a part of me had come to the conclusion that either way I chose, I would gain something and lose something. Even if I remained there, I could never really be myself. I mean, I was still Sango, but I've changed. I've seen things that affected me too much to just forget," she said quietly.

"I know what you mean," he said, watching her.

"I went to say goodbye to Kohaku, and that's when I realised that there wasn't really a choice," she continued on, her voice starting to tremble just slightly. "If I were to remain there, Naraku would still be out there, and there wasn't much of a defence in the village." She looked down, her voice soft yet firm at the same time. "At least if I'm here, I have a better chance of tracking him down, and I'm still with people who care about me… regardless of whether or not they show me that." Before he had a chance to say anything to that last statement, she looked back up at him, her voice becoming more audible. "Did you believe me when I said that I went back in time?"

He looked at her, then finally spoke, choosing his words carefully. "I trust your word, Sango. I'm just not sure if I can accept the idea of… 'time-travelling'. I know you would not lie to me, at least not if you could help it. We've been companions for long enough now that you should not have to resort to lying, especially to people who do care about you, but forgive me… I'm having a bit of trouble processing the fact that you were sent back in time to fix what happened."

"I know. I can barely believe it myself, and it _happened _to _me_."

They were both quiet for a long moment, then she voiced her thoughts. "I mean, I can remember it so vividly. The way Kohaku smiled at me, the gentle tone of his voice when he called me _Ane-ue_, not the emotionless tone he uses to speak when he is under the control of Naraku. He hugged me, and I could feel warmth in him, the love and admiration channelling from his arms, the way he held onto me. He didn't understand, but he suspected, and that made it nearly impossible for me to turn away. I didn't want to have to confront him again in the shell of a brother I once loved as my sibling before he was killed, but I knew that if I returned, I would have to."

"Sango, we will do our best to see that his fate is not death," Miroku said softly, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I promise you that whatever happens, _I_ will do whatever it takes to get your brother back for you." The next words came before he was ready to say them, but his voice remained strong even if he was shaking on the inside. This was the closest he had ever to confessing how much he cared about the taijiya, and he was a bit afraid that she would suspect his feelings for her had begun to change over the past few months. "I will always be here for you if you need me."

She stared at him for a minute, clearly not expecting to hear what he had just said. Apparently she was at a loss for what to say in response to such a statement. "I… Houshi-sama, I…" But she couldn't think of anything else to say. The words hung in the atmosphere between them, and they were both waiting for the other to say something first, anything to cover the shocked and slightly awkward silence. Finally, Sango managed to think up a response.

"Thank you, Houshi-sama," she whispered. "That means - that means a lot to me."

"Sango," he began after a few minutes of silence, his tone sounding a bit cautious, "I know you would not lie to me, but I'm wondering about what you said. You went back in time, and not once did you actually leave us, for any amount of time. How is that possible?"

He wanted to believe what she was saying, that she really had gone back in time. Even if he did not want to accept what she was telling him; if he was able to refuse from hearing her words, the pain and regret in the depth of her gaze convinced him of the honesty of her words. However, he still wanted to know.

"The Fate told me that time had frozen back in this… this dimension," she said, waving a dismissive gesture at the surrounding area of her village without really glancing at it. "She told me that I could choose between this time and the other time, the one where my blood kin was still alive. She said that if I chose to return to you - to the group - this time would continue off from the day I had been transported to the other time. You wouldn't notice any difference because to you, nothing actually happened," she explained.

"Is that why I can't seem to recall you leaving to go anywhere?" he asked, starting to understand what she was saying.

"Yes. You would not remember, but I would because it happened to me. I can remember everything; from the day I left to the day I chose to come back," she said, shifting her gaze to the ground.

He still looked a bit confused, as he was probably still trying to accept the concept of her words, but did not question her any further. "I'm glad you decided to return to us," he said after a moment in a quiet tone, catching her attention. She raised her gaze to meet his.

They sat there, simply looking at each other, then Sango stood up and extended a hand to the monk. "We should join the others, Houshi-sama," she said, attempting to regain her more casual demeanour, the one she used on a regular basis when she spoke to him with the rest of the group nearby. "After all, I did not plan this visit, and I'm sure Inuyasha is becoming very irritated."

He took the offer, standing up and glanced over at the grave, then back at her, keeping his tone light. "Are you sure there isn't anything you still wish to do? Perhaps…?" He let the sentence trail off, allowing her to think about what he was suggesting without having to voice it so he would not make the memories seem any more painful than they already were to her.

She took a deep breath and attempting a faint smile. "No. Another time would be better. I think I just needed to…" She paused for a moment, thinking of how best to say it. "… absorb the truth of what happened, that maybe fate wanted it to be this way."

"The pain will probably always be there," he said softly, gently leading her towards the gate. He stopped as she tugged her hand out of his grasp, taking a wistful look at the graves that lay not so far from the remains of her destroyed home. "But over time it will get easier. Believe me, I know what it is like to lose a loved one. At first you feel as though you cannot possibly go on, but somehow you manage to continue, and every time you decide to get back up and keep going, your resolve is strengthened and you have the courage to make it through another day. That is why our weakness as being human can become some of our greatest strengths. It is our weaknesses that challenge us to overcome the obstacles in life and only makes our determination stronger so we can overcome those obstacles. As a result, that brings out the better person in each of us."

The taijiya stared at him for a moment, then a small smile graced her features as she looked back at the graves. "I know," she said simply. "I know." His words were not necessarily meant directly for her, but they brought a sense of comfort to her, and she was grateful for what he had said.

* * *

The two left the village area, each getting lost in their own thoughts about what might have happened if things had not gone the way they had. Tragedy would never be an easy thing for either of them; they had already lost so much, but through challenges and self-realisation, they would become even stronger despite such loss. Mainly Sango. 

Time may not have given her a choice, as each had its own gain and loss, but it had shown her another possibility in what seemed to be a fated decision.

Perhaps she could learn to cherish what fate had decided to give her, rather than what she was about to lose or what she had already lost.

Perhaps time was the answer after all.

-

-

* * *

_Finished typing - January 6th, 2006_

_Final edit and posted – January 19th, 2006_

_FIN_

_No sequel. This chapter already exceeded its original expectations, and it was more successful than I thought it would ever be. For those of you that reviewed: thank you for doing so and know that you have kept motivating me to write more, to be make this story the best it could possibly be; for those that didn't: I hope you still enjoyed reading it. There were times (specifically in Chapter 8) when I wasn't sure what on earth I could do to keep the story flowing, while keeping in mind how the characters would be affected by the chain of events that happened without altering their personalities. There were also some background issues which caused me to backtrack my original plan and go, 'Uh oh, this isn't working!'._

_Nevertheless, I kept going, although **not** without help, and the end of this story is the result of that. So thank you for sticking by me. _

_- Iggy, Essence of Angst_


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